Rob is an idiotIt’s been a while since I posted on the site

Dear Members – Just a quick pre-Christmas message to wish you all the compliments of the festive season and to provide you with a brief update following the eventful WHVGS End of Year Social and AGM:

The 2010 End of Year Social for the coveted “Red”, was the second running of the biennial WHVGS Pool competition – This year most the GS’ers who fancy themselves with a cue were in attendance, (apart from Bruce who was sunning himself in Brazil), including Campo, who had travelled up from London to compete for the Red and the Idiot from Bristol, who seems to
think that he has never been beaten in a singles match at Combe, ever…..
The early favourites were; Noz (reigning Champion from 2008), The Aust (runner up in 2008), Ronnie and Pedro (the self proclaimed GS pool sharks), Campo, Miller, Bacon and The Idiot Hall – the “remnants” were The Pres, Ads and Web Donk.

In a superbly formatted competition each player played 4 games with the top 8 going through to the knock out stage – surprisingly Pedro was knocked out at the first stage, (was this to the sign of things to come…) with one win from 4, along with The Donk and Ads. Noz went through as top seed, (the only unbeaten man), with Ron and Miller with 3 out of 4 victories.

The Idiot, Bacon, Campo and Miller exited at the quarters, leaving semis of Ron v Noz and The Aust v Pres.

Ron (who had been the first man at the Moose at 5pm) saw off Noz (who had not been the Moose) and following a match of terrible quality the Aust beat the Pres. The final was a tense affair with Ron ultimately being victorious and retaining the Red, beating Aust, the losing 2008 finalist. We then headed off for the 2010 Prize giving, the AGM and Sparkbook’s finest curry.


The Royal Al’ Faisal did us proud, although Pedro decided against the Staff curry option – knocked out of the pool in the first round, no staff curry – what on earth was going on? It was already turning into a bad night for Pedro….

Next up was the 2010 prize giving – 15 individual envelopes totalling £724.96 had been painstakingly prepared containing each Member’s winnings for the year, to the penny, were available for the presentations. Unfortunately, for Coops (£5.62), Curt (£18.00) and The TD (£18.12), who were not in attendance – the Members voted on each case individually and
decided to retain their uncollected winnings for ongoing GS funds. However under the circumstances; the written apology, the notice period given and the fact that he had travelled from Cambridge to every other Tour event in 2010, the Members voted 6 to 5 that Bruce should be given his £46.50 prize fund at the first Tour event of the 2011 season. It was a good night for Bruce.

Not only did Butters pick up £174.12, (which he promptly put towards his 2011 AA and CJ account for the Celtic Manor weekender), for his sterling performance this year, but he also collected 2 OoM Stars for his WHVGS shirts – Well done Butters. He was not however presented with the WHV Spoon, currently held by Noz – who claimed that it was not practical for
him to have taken a golf club out onto Broad Street on a Saturday night – he was probably right.

It was decided that the proposal for a “Cheeser of the Year” award was ridiculous, because there would probably only ever be one winner and he does not require any encouragement.

The Vote for the 2010 SPOTY was a 3 way battle between the TD, Ron (who had played off a plus handicap for most of the season, reaching the heights of plus 4 before the AA and the Claret Jug) and the course steward at Dartmouth who said about the TD – “I wish my wallet was as thick as your mate”. The Steward won hands down.

Finally the vote for the 2011 Board took place:
Firstly, the vote for the 2011 WHVGS Captain – Pedro was nominated and seconded, for which would be his third stint in a row as Captain, Gregs was nominated but not seconded and then Noz unleashed his verbal “Vote Ron – Pedro out” campaign which he had eluded to previously over the email and evidently been planning for some time – His manifesto was along the lines of: “Pedro wears a star on his shirt that he is not morally entitled to, 2 years ago the Captains cup in Ilfracombe did not involve the Captain, this year he turned up to the Captains Match Play, but did not even organise it himself (perhaps this is one of the reasons why the course was the 2nd worst we played all year), after the Amy Austin he wrote an inaccurate match report and refused to change it, he made up bizarre rants about speakers because he doesn’t understand the most basic of technologies and he doesn’t even let people order his curry for him”. After Noz’s rant, Ron was duly seconded.

The vote was a very close run thing with Ronnie being voted in as Captain 6-5 : Bizarrely with Pedro voting for Ron, if he had voted for himself he would have remained as Captain….

TD – Gregs, Rob, Noz and the Web Donk were nominated, but only Gregs and Noz were seconded – Gregs winning the 9-2 and remains as TD for his third year, with Noz stating that he didn’t want the TD’s job anyway.

Finally the vote for Players Rep – With the Pres and new Captain unable to vote, Noz fired up the next stage of his master plan – “Vote Bruce – He’s not a whinger”. The nominees, who were all seconded were; Bruce, Butters and the Aust – with Bruce coming out as victor.

Ron was now the GS Pool Champion and GS Captain, Bruce had managed to retain his 2010 winnings and been voted onto the Board whilst lording it on a beach on Brazil, Noz was very very pleased with campaigning and Pedro had been knocked out in the first round of the pool competition, had lost the Captaincy and was no longer a Board member….

The curry house had effectively shut around us, the cabs arrived and the Members left to head off home – Just prior to leaving, I checked the AGM area for any key artifacts and came across an unopened envelope, entitled “Pedro – £41.86” – This was obviously unwanted so has become WHVGS funds, which due the change to the financial model and introduction of annual subscriptions in 2010 now totals in excess of £500 towards 2013…..
Having documented the above and what can only be described as a “bad day at the office” for Pedro – I do want to take this opportunity to thank him for his efforts over the last 2 years as Captain and prior to that, when he effectively drew up our Constitution which is the bedrock of WHVGS. The 2011 Board are yet to meet or discuss the issues to be addressed next
year, due to Bruce’s current absence in Brazil, but I understand that you can expect a totally revitalised handicap mechanic…..

Happy Christmas and best wishes for 2011

The President

This drew the following comments from the members:

  • Rob is an Idiot
  • “Best Board Ever” – from Noz
  • Thanks for voting to give me my winners, much appreciated!!! – Bruce
  • Rob is an Idiot
  • I can confirm there will definitely be a new handicap system in place and that ALL members will be playing off a new handicap come the start of the 2011 tour

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