Here is the report as provided on time by Special K, winning for the second time in his first full season


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With one win this season under my belt, and a WHV handicap of 24, it was only a matter of time before Special K was back to winning ways.

Saturday 17th September promised much, a new golf course for me and Hollywood at least. The beautiful Astbury Hall golf club, owned by no less than the legendary lead guitarist K.K Downing from Judas Priest. The venue was tucked away in the heart of the Shropshire countryside, with google maps stating it is only 31 miles from Solihull. Surely it couldn’t take 1hr 5 minutes to get there? Well  it did, due to piss poor black country roads, full of Sunday morning drivers on a Saturday and the odd tractor.

Me and Hollywood arrived at Astbury Hall just behind Gregs, Noz and Swiss Bruce.  The need for a bacon roll was greater than ever, due to the lack of the traditional pre game McDonalds breakfast wrap! The club house looked impressive, with lovely pictures of Darren Clarke holding aloft his very own claret jug dotted around the place. The rest of the lads were already there ordering breakfast upgrades. I thought, you wouldn’t see a champ like Darren eating double sausage like with brown sauce all over his chops like Millers.

The weather turned out to be top draw, a number of boys turned up in shorts. The groups got decided by the usual balls tossed in the air method. The first group out consisted of ‘The best Ever TD’, Noz & Martin. ‘The Best Ever TD’ got the day off to a great start with a powerful drive right down the middle.

Group 2 consisted of me, Hollywood and Bruce (aka The Dream Team). We made the mistake of giving Bruce the point scoring yellow ball on the first. He nearly lost it on his second shot into the water, but managed to find it and make a 6 on the first. Needless to say our luck with the yellow ball got no better.

The third group had the board vs Millers feel about it. Millers managed to find himself in a group with Boyce, Donk and Pres. After a week of slagging the board off on Whatsapp, it was going to be an interesting round for Millers.  He found himself avoiding all requests from Boyce to help look for his ball near any lakes. Accidents do happen after all.

The front 9 didn’t get off to the best of starts, I managed to chip into the bunker on the second and take another two shots to get out. Needless to say I failed to score a single point. It didn’t take long for my form to pick up, with a chip in from the edge of the green on the 8th. A run of respectable bogey golf with the odd par thrown in gave me 18 points through the first 9.

The back 9 started with pars on 10 and 11. The 11th was the Dog hole, Hollywood set the standard with a monster 250 yard drive. Bruce gave it a good go, but his slicing drive lacked the distance need to move Hollywood from top dog. More pars and bogeys followed, with the yellow ball still in play. We heard the other groups had lost their yellow ball, Boyce deciding to take aim at someone’s house with his.

With the easy 18th to play, it seemed Noz had the Shark in his hand with a great shot to the centre of the green. No one from the dream team grouping could get nearer. The final group finished the 18th with news that Boyce pitched inside Noz to take the shark, great shot from Boyce!  The last hole cost Hollywood an impressive £1.50! I wrapped up the back 9 with another 22 points, I managed to score zero points on 3 holes as well. A grand total of 40 points could not be matched.

Presentation time had arrived. Noz, ‘The Best Ever TD’ and Martin won the yellow ball challenge with an impressive 29 points. Millers got third spot and Martin second, poor Pres was using a new driver with a very stiff shaft, this resulted in 13 points. Some accused him of handicap management ahead of the jug, I can’t believe such a thing would even enter his mind.

I did manage to drop the brand new Son of the Pedro within 30 seconds. Looks like a trip to John Lewis for a new holder! Expensive win.

I’m glad my handicap has been cut to 22 for the jug, I can’t be accused of winning the jug with a bandit handicap now


And here are lots of pictures from the day

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