Dear Sir,
Do you experience ‘lulls’ in your working day? We all do, 7 hours 24 mins is a long time at the coal face !! Do not despair, help is at hand, just deploy this quick and easy to use Stratforward professional decision making tool to get your day back on track! Simply select one of the following options and hey presto your working mojo will return:
a) open some post (least favoured option due to the ridiculous modern practice of hiding the contents of most postal correspondence WITHIN the envelop)
b) scour your company servers for key customers highly sensitive and commercially confident information and then email it to a random collection of your mates (favourite so far)
c) beg your council bosses for the release of ‘your’ business finance that they have had to collect from your ‘customers’, who actually have no choice but to get involved in your crackers ‘partnership’ (a close second)
d) graze the Internet for bongo on your new iPhone 5 (very attractive option unless your professional lull occurs after 11am by which time you will no doubt be maxed out for the day)
e) contact top mid-tier firm BDO Stoy Hayward LLP UK to arrange a special due diligence exercise on your organisation (need to hurry as the £200,000 special deal is a 50% discount on normal rates and is only available for a limited time)
f) contact your already overworked legal team for an update on the latest batch of lawsuits taken out against you (good option but more than likely to occupy the entire remainder of your working day anyway)
Cheers, Miller.
