Sent tonight by the Donk
All,
After the excitement, and sheer golfing wonderland we experienced in Kent last week, it is my duty to bring things back down to earth and invite all members of the society to witness Boycie squeezed into the green jacket – without a WHV shirt – at the golfing swan song of 2014, the Spoonholder’s Salver.
This year, unless we get unprecedented levels of entry (and I wouldn’t put it beyond Millers and Boycie to introduce a dozen darting ringers to pad the field out), the Salver will not affect the final OoM standings, but it should be a very nice knock round a ‘championship resort course’ designed for year round play.
I’ve booked a number of tee times at the Abbey Hotel in Redditch – a track we used for the inaugural Captain’s Matchplay in 2010 – and for the reasonable price of £35 you will get 18 holes and a bacon roll (plus 5 lads towards the prizes and scrapeage). We’ll be teeing off at 10.30am, so should easily be finished by half past three, for those people with parental duties at the traditional Arden Fireworks later that evening. Of course, you might choose to avail yourself of the pool and spa facilities at the hotel, or grab a bite to eat on the terrace overlooking the tricky 18th, your time is your own.
Because the weather deprived us of our curtain raising three club Spittle Shield – which is always great fun – as the sponsor I would like to propose that we try a different stroke play format for the Salver this year – a Modified Stapleforth, similar to the system used at the Barracuda Event on the PGA tour (the one the no-marks play when we’re hosting the Open). Intended to reward brave play, and not punish a golfer for messing up a hole or two, so;
Net albatross = 12 points – not 5
Net eagle = 8 points – not 4
Net birdie = 4 points – not 3
Net par = 2 points
Net bogie = 1 point
Net double = 1/2 a point – not nil
Net triple or worse = blob
I am also proposing that, similar to the skins or the match play, this event will only affect the handicap of the winner – as we are deviating from standard Stapleforth. Of course, if someone absolutely murders the field and the course, then our informal handicapping committee will take this under review in the off season.
So, if you want to join us to see out the golfing year, let me know and I’ll add you to the list of entrants.
Does Taylor Swift use the bathroom? I can’t picture it.