Tournament: 2018 Claret Jug
Venue: Formby Hall Golf Club & Spa & Hillside Golf Club
Dates: 13th to 14th October 2018
Weather: Wet and windy at Formby Hall and beautiful sunshine at Hillside
Attendees: Pres, Donk, Millers, TD, Woolly, Little Nelly, Boycie, Marty the Cat, Bacon, Juice, Professor Ash, Noz, Aust, Tom & Huge
Well I’ve got to be honest I didn’t think I’d be doing this again in 2018, but here I am in the flush of yet another Claret Jug victory, so I’d better get on with it.
Welcome to the match report for the 2018 WHV Claret Jug. The premier competition on the WHV Tour Calendar and this year played in Southport. Specifically at Formby Hall Golf Club & Spa and then at Hillside Golf Club.
As I stated last year, my early on set Dementia is starting to take hold so please forgive me when I miss out large segments of the weekend. Once again I have emailed Donk for the details of of who won the weekend’s Sharks, Dogs and Hulks, only this time he is so far blanking me. Keep with me on this one, I’m sure I will have the answers by the time we get to that point in the match report.
As with last year I don’t think I’m going to be in trouble with submitting this match report about 4 weeks after the event. As you all know we’re a much more relaxed Society these days…although there are a few voices wishing for the old days to return.
Also as with last year, since the weekend’s golfing events I have had to put with a drunk grumpy cunty Gregs at a gig. This time it was a Jack White gig and to be fair to Gregs he wasn’t that cunty although he was very very pissed.
I do remember waking up on Saturday morning feeling relatively normal-is. The night before had consisted of a fish supper, booze and then dancing with Donko and Professor Ash till late (4am) at a very small Southport club which played deep house…I think. However, the weather that was waiting for us in the morning was far from welcoming. It was cold, wet and windy. Arriving at Formby Hall we all eventually made it to the 1st tee. Unfortunately the score cards and designated holes for the nearest the pin, Dog and Saturday Hulk didn’t make it to the tee. Luckily Tom was in a particularly good mood and off he trundled to get them sorted. Thanks Tom!
My first tee shot was pretty awful and so was my front 9. I scored 13. Not that great a start to defending the Claret Jug and Green Jacket. Luckily the back 9 improved and I scored 18 points. The observant ones amongst you will work out that this put me on 31 points. Unfortunately, Tom our four-ball’s Scorer and esteemed accountant only added it up to be 30…his University Tutors will be screaming in their sleep. Luckily, eagle-eyed Donko realised that 13 plus 18 clearly equals 31 and as a result I was actually placed 4th after the first 18 holes of the 2018 Claret Jug. I was very pleased with this as I hadn’t really played that well but I was at least improving.
The results of the day were:
Best Score: 35 Points (PK)
Shark: Donk
Dog: Juice
Saturday Hulk: PK
On the Saturday night as you would expect we went out and got pretty mullered. We ate at a very nice Steak restaurant in Southport and had more than a few shandies in the pubs and bars of Southport. Some of us went dancing again. Some of us (Juice) got laughed at by the young girls he was trying to impress with his dancing, some of us pulled Southport Milfs (Marty) and some if us didn’t get back to our rooms until 4am yet again. Not great preparation for the final round of the Claret Jug.
Sunday morning arrived and I felt rubbish. I think it took me about 10 minutes to get my socks and shoes on to go and have some breakfast. I wasn’t the only one that felt this way. Luckily, Sunday’s 18 holes were played at the magnificent Hillside Golf Club. Possibly Will’s favourite course ever. I thought it was without doubt the best course of the weekend, yes even better than Hoylake and on a par with Nefyn in North Wales. It was a truly beautiful course, it was in great nick, had marvellous scenery all around and was a real test of Links golf. Robbo would have loved it. If only he had taken notice in Professor Ash’s golf lessons. You really had to manage your way around the course and be on top of your game throughout.
The final 4-ball consisted of PK leading on 35 points after the first day, Tom on 34 points, Little Nelly on 32 and me on 31 points. Luckily for me I was playing very well and after the first 9 holes had 17 points in the bag. PK was struggling and after 10 holes we were suddenly all very close with me, PK and Tom all tied for the lead. PK continued to blow-up and get very angry and despondent with himself and me and Tom continued to play well. It was close, very close but I knew I was playing well and was giving myself a very good chance of retaining the Claret Jug and Green Jacket. By the time we had reached the par 4 18th my confidence was sky high. I hit 2 very good shots but leaked my chip into the right hand side pot bunker. It was so deep I could only see the top of the flag. However, I hit the best bunker shot of my life. The ball popped out superb and rolled within 6 feet of the hole and I only then went and popped it in for best up and down of my life. I’d played really well and scored 18 on the bak 9 to give me 35 points for the day.
I was sure I had won. Sitting down outside for a nice Guinness however, it transpired that Will had also played well in the second last group and had scored 37 points. Surely it wasn’t going to be taken away from me after my heroics at the 18th. Luckily for me Will had been a very naughty boy and had been very late with a match report. As a consequence he’d had 2 points deducted the previous day and this had meant that I had won by a clear 2 points. Inside my head I was thanking the Bored while sympathising profusely with Will. Luckily he took it all in excellent spirits. I had won and become the first WHVer to retain the Claret Jug and Green Jacket. Well done ME!
The results of the day were:
Sunday Best: 37 Points (Noz)
Shark: Miller
Dog: Gregs
Sunday Hulk: Juice
King of the Fives: Tom
King of the Threes Boycie
2018 WHV Open Champion: Bacon (31 & 35 points)
Overall, I hope you will all agree that it was a great weekend. Expertly organised by Yours Truly. The location was really good. The courses were all excellent – especially Hillside, which was a real test and on the whole I think we all played pretty well. Finally, the company, as always, was very good. We were all in good form, funny, drunk and above all good friends.
Here’s to 2019.
Bacon.
