23rd July 2022 – Report by FFS Harding
The second major of the year was upon us already and just 8 of us head off to play in Rob’s (Idiot’s) Brissle competition at Kirklington Golf Course, set in the lovely Oxfordshire countryside.
The Cat and I arrive early and grab a nice cuppa and sit outside in the sunshine whilst waiting for the others to arrive. Rob arrives and sorts out the bacon rolls which arrive with 3 rashers and suitably impresses him, which he delights in telling the waitress later in the day. (Like a proper kiss arse nonce as usual – Donk)
The course looks to be in good condition despite the baked fairways from the heatwave we have been having. Everyone heads down to the first tee where Idiot throws up the balls, except hole in one (HIO) Jon’s, as he has to get back for Solihull fest and needs to be in the first group. (Although this seems to confuse HIO)
In the first group is Hole in One (Jon), The Cat (Martin), Juice (Bruce) and Idiot (Rob)
The second group is Ron (Arron), Donk (Simon), Finchy (Michael) and Boyce (me)
Everyone except Juice is carrying a WHV handicap penalty although Juice appears to be harbouring his own penalty after a works stag night out the night before. Idiot not having played any other rounds between his last win, so only has 3 cards counting towards his handicap calculation and as such has been cut by 14 shots, down to 8 before his penalties. (If only he had played another friendly round and handed the card in)
The first group appear to struggle and if not for Finchy would have all scored less than the second group. The second group tee off and Ron unexpectedly is left, into the rough, but still manages to scramble a 6 for a point. Finchy is long but in the field and blobs, and with Donk only getting a point Boyce takes an early lead with a par. Ron continues to play uncharacteristically like a WHV member and after 8 holes Boyce and Finchy are level on 16 points, Donk 14 points and Ron just 10 points. It was here on the 8th hole things changed and it all seemed to go wrong for Finchy after being treated to a cheeky can of Magners, from the beer dolly by Ron, he only manages a further 5 points from the next 10 holes to finish last on 21 points.
The Magners had the opposite effect for Ron who played like a +2 handicapper and pretty much parred or birdied his way home to finish on 29 points. Donk and Boyce continued to play steady golf after their Magners finishing second and first with 32 and 38 points respectively.
Ron won the sponsors shark and held the birdie putt; Boyce won the shark and was the only person on the green but failed to make the birdie and Juice took the dog and then proceeded to chip through the green and blob the hole.
Full Results: –
The Dog – Juice – £5 (and blobbed the hole)
The Shark – Boyce – £5 (only person to make it on the green and missed the birdie putt)
The Sponsors Shark – Ron (Paid out £5) and he made the birdie
1st Boyce 38 – £15 (Steve can’t add £15 and £5 up – but he would haunt us about that fiver)
2nd Donk 32 – £10
3rd Ronno 29 -£5
4th Juice 26
5th Catto 26
6th Idiot 24
7th HIO Jon 24
8th Finchy 21
