Match Report: Captain Triumphs in Weather Shortened Event

Thanks to scientists, we have climate change to blame for the 2024 season not starting as planned. Those eggheads are responsible for how soggy everything is (even now at the end of May) – they need to spend more time fixing this than inventing AI chatbots who could catfish Miller.

As we travelled to the darkest heart of Warwickshire, we weren’t sure how much of the Atherstone course would be open, or if we’d have the ignominy of mats or temporary greens. Turns out that only 15 holes were ready for play – and we agreed as a society with the view of the pro, that we wouldn’t want to play the first three holes again after walking the fifteen that were open. An important decision, it turns out.

The club seemed a super friendly place – the food was half decent, and the track was challenging, lots of changes of elevation and unusual fairways – ideal for the range of talents in our esteemed society.

Shamefully, the OoM Champ hadn’t sorted his custody of the Spoon, too busy challenging the year long one shot chop that he had never heard of…he’s shameless enough to stand as a Conservative MP

It was great news for these guys – they weren’t in a group with the horse bothering cheat.

At the same time, Finch was spraying the ball everywhere, Gregs was in his own world, and Stiffy McStiff was pretty stiff

The course was in pretty decent nick considering how much rain the climate scientists had caused, but we were picking and placing, which always helps.

There were some easy holes and some challenging holes – well worth a revisit with a bigger representation of our society

There was some weird Gregs style thing where Rob had to run to the 11th green and we all had to guess how many seconds it would take. The Idiot hustled and recorded himself doing it – I think Pickle won this pointless thing. There was also a tote.

Another suspect horse owner that likes to feed their stallions with special sausage

Onto the golf – the young Pickler played well, and would probably have won over 18 holes – but the Donk held out, they both opened their tour season with bird on the card, and kept the blobs under control.