From FFS – who stole the win, on his home track, from an Idiot
Slightly later than normal for me, the update from the first WHV event for 2025, the
Spittle Sheild, from Stonebridge Golf Club, Sunday 2 nd March 2025.
A great afternoon in the sunshine, which is very unusual for the first WHV outing of
the year, and a good deal made for the golf including a full English breakfast,
although it is possibly an advantage, maybe for Catto and Boycie, as its their home
track.
After the hearty full English breakfast we were all ready to tee off in the beautiful
sunshine. Noz threw the balls up and the groups were sorted as follows:-
Group 1. Boycie, Greggs and Pickle
Group 2. Prez, Catto and Juice
Group 3. Donk, Idiot and Millers
Group 4. Noz, Mike, Woolley and Pk
The course was in good condition particularly after all the rain in the previous months
aided by the sunshine over the last few days and today.
A message was received from Noz, noone out of the thirteen of us managed to hit
the green on the shark hole so it was moved to the 13 th hole for us all to have
another go. This resulted in the Pres winning the shark but not making the birdie.
This next bit is from Donk and he shares what happened on the 9 th hole with his
group
“On the 9th hole, where Idiot (Rob) holed out for 5 points, I’d hit my ball o/B. We saw
some legs in the trees being a bit odd as we approached, but as the lads went to
their drives, I went into the trees to see if I could find my ball. There, facing me, was
a bloke having a piss, and behind him, his Mrs squatting down. “We’re having a
quick piss” he said. “Fair enough, did you see a ball in here?” “Nah mate” – he’s still
pissing, about 15 feet in front of me. I tell Rob about this, and he gets a bit furtive. He
claimed that any glimpse of a fanny in the wild gets him fired up, but seeing as how
he holed out, I reckon he’s a secret piss fetishist who was extremely fired up at the
thought of a hot squat happening so close by.
Idiot off his generous handicap and Boyce with the home course advantage were
both playing steady but Idiot had had a couple of burdies and a 5 pointer at least.
Noz waited until he’d had a go at the dog and then walked in with just 19 points.
Boyce scored 35 points to take the win and Idiot got 34 points to finish second but
Donk mentioned he drove into a bush on one of his two shot holes, went looking for
his ball, got distracted by a minty looking Taylormade (!) in a different bush, tried to
get that – turned out to be half a ball, so he walked in rather than R4, with 2 shots.
Pretty much cost him a win that should have been built off his two birdies and a
clutch of pars.
A great day enjoyed by all and thanks as usual to Simon (Donk)for all the donking
and hopefully some additional photos.
Overall score and positions
1 st 35 points Boycie
2 nd 34 points Idiot 2ith 2 birds 1for 5 points
3 rd 33 points PK
4 th 32 points Vegas
5 th 31 points Miller
6 th 30 points Donk with a birdie
7 th 30 points Juice
8 th 28 points Woolley
9 th 28 points Catto
10 th 27 points Greggs plus the Dog
11 th 27 points Butters
12 th 26 points Prez plus the shark after moving as no-one hit original green
13 th 19 points Noz (walked off)
Editors Note – very little coverage of the Dog
