Chaps – The 2016 WHVGS AA and WHV Open has been finalised, October 7th – 9th. In 2014 we played two historical two Open Courses.

In 2015 we played a mighty trilogy in North Wales, which was excellent… So where to in 2016…?

I tried to set up a weekend in Southport or Liverpool to take in another Open course, but failed – weekend golf is tricky in those parts… I looked at a weekend in Belfast, but they are currently digging up both the Portrush Courses for the Open in 2019… So now is not the right time to go… I was getting quite despondent, but… Now, I am happy.

The courses are top drawer and the cost is palatable… This year we are heading south, but not a plane. We will take on the highest ranked course that the WHVGS Tour has ever been to, the highest ranked three course combination we have ever played – including the oldest English course…

Friday 7th Oct : The Amy Austin – The West Course Saunton Golf Club (65th Best course in England)

Saturday 8th October : CJ Round 1 – The East Course Saunton Golf Club (12th Best course in England and the 33rd Best Course in the British Isles – 5 places higher than Royal Cinque Ports and has hosted The Amateur Championship on numerous occasions)

Sunday 9th October : CJ round 2 – Royal North Devon Golf Club / Westward Ho! (The oldest Course in England, the 55th Best Course in England and has hosted The Amateur Championship on three occasions)

The cost is £334 for three truly excellent courses and B&B.

We’ve had a different issue with the most recent tournament though – you may recall that Bruce won, and that Bruce was moving house 2 weeks after winning – this left him offline for a few days and so his report came in 4 or 5 days late. Despite living in the age of the internet where I’m sure he spent some time on his phone checking for some form of ailment allied to moving home or lifting or something, Bruce claimed that he’d written the report but it was on his work computer and he couldn’t access it until the time he went back to work after moving. Seemed fair enough – he was putting this case to the President, who was accepting it in good faith.

We duly received the match report on the 5th day after it was due – this should result in the loss of 5RPs per day – and as Bruce only got 16RPs for winning the Gibbon – this was quite a severe punishment.

Then I opened the report to read what Bruce had written, which was a couple of sentences introducing the Captain’s Log post I added on the evening of the Gibbon. And that was it – very little original content – as you will see below.

Now, things get murky – the board have some vested interest in the success of Bruce this year – the President has wagered with the TD that Bruce will win the OoM – so was unsurprisingly relaxed on both charges of lateness and plagiarism. Having made a case for Bruce repeatedly, he recused himself from the discussion. The TD only engaged after the saga had completed. For some reason, it was also perceived that I had a particular interest in seeing Bruce stripped of points – not entirely sure why I would stake any greater interest in this than any of the other event regulars who should be challenging for the OoM – Millers, Nob, Bacon, Pres, TD et al – but as Secretary/Recorder/Captain, I preferred to stand silent myself after raising the issue with the board. (This is particularly galling given the way that Nob and I handed the countback victory to Bruce by being sticklers for the rules of golf at the Gibbon).

The PR intervened, as the only ‘independent’ board member, and proposed to fine Bruce half of his RPs, which he then decided should be all of his RPs for the event, suspended until the 2014 Jug in the case of further malfeasance regarding competition reporting. According to the PR, Bruce did not take even his suspended sentence happily.

I’m sure I am not alone (I know that our erstwhile Captain and Constitutional Advocate is appalled by Bruce’s behaviour, and the lack of board creativity in coming up with a suitable punishment for Bruce’s bald faced lack of compliance, but with the President having a vested interest, to the enormous tune of £20, the subject was always going to stall. Anyone raising the matter with Dougal will simply be faced with his irrelevant argument about Bruce’s handicap being too high *cough 3 time WHV Open winner himself* and that the OoM was a done deal as a result)

So it turned out that the Gibbon was just as eventful off the course as it turned out to be on the course, and I’m sure the wider membership will be very interested in the priorities of some of the board members.

For the sake of posterity, here is the offending match report, as ‘provided’ by the ‘winner’ of the Gibbon – (you will note it failed to meet any of the requirements of a proper Competition Report – who won the Dog or Shark, how much money was awarded, etc. – but we now know the price of principle – 5 bob at 4 to 1, apparently).

The element in italics is ‘borrowed’ from this website (and worth reading again to understand how the ‘win at all costs’ approach is an increasing problem for our society);

2014 Gibbon Invitation Match Report

Venue:                    The Menzies Welcombe Golf Course, Stratford-upon-Avon

Date:                       1st March 2014

Entrees:                 Pres, TD, PR, Captain, Mike, Adam,  Bruce & NOB

For the 3rd year in row we returned to the Menzies for the Gibbon Invitation, sponsored by the reinstated TD, for another well organised event. Bacon rolls, 18 holes of golf and a Ham, Egg and Chips to finish it all off for the standard £40. And more importantly the sun came out!!!

Now, as I’m sure many of our readers know, and in our Captains words, “I am a sportsman and not a writer”, so here are a few bullet points of the days events, courtesy of our Captain :-

• The reinstated TD was full of vigour, as usual, but I am not looking forward to hearing about the machinations of Heartflood, if the Andover story (and especially the secret Virgin story) are anything to go by. His golf looked as spotty as ever – spectacularly good and spectacularly random
• The President is too used to me being his chauffeur, as he was able to miss the entrance to the car park and drive up the cart path in front of the club house. Good job he could join the caravan out of the car park in the dark, especially after seeing off the foot and half of Guinness for bringing up the rear in the golf – on his way back to the brink of category Z?
• Millers was dressed for an ascent of the north face of the Eiger, when in fact we were blessed with sunshine all the way round. He was also close to bipolar on the course, mumbling and grumbling about his inconsistency and stupidity, whilst still dropping 3 birdies into the mix (which seemed to follow directly from discussions he instigated about man on man loving)
• I didn’t get to play with him, but Gibraltar Mike seemed to be full of joie de vivre following his 42nd birthday, and his brand new Mondeo estate – we heard he was eating up the course, but just kept it steady rather than delivering the goods
• Adam was a revelation – he strode up the first tee, not with the Slammer or other such hand me down, but a pristine Taylor Made Burner 2.0 in pimped out white – and he proceeded to reveal the benefits of investing in equipment. Apparently his pro looked at his old bats and said that Tiger would struggle to find the sweet spot in them. Ads was in contention through 15 holes, but succumbed to the big finish at the Welcombe (as did I, and Millers), playing good solid golf, hitting good shots, and nearly winning Noz Nob some cash from the Gibbon
• Bruce, apparently was having a shocker until we crossed the road for the final four holes – likely in last place at that point. Then he birdied three of the last four (and parred the other) to post 35 points to win on countback – which he felt was justified having lost two tournaments on countback in 2013 (to keep his total to just 4!). So a threepeat for Juice, and renewed calls from the President for a cut – despite Bruce shooting 35 off 15.
• I managed to also post 35, despite putting like an idiot – including missing a 3 footer on the 18th. It was a blob free round – testament to scrambling rather than too much good golf. I’ve just seen Rory tank his tournament, so can’t feel too bad about missing out on a tenner.
• Highlight of the day was definitely the big reveal of Noz’s Hulk, which Nicola had embroidered that morning, and then texted everyone to look out for her handiwork. I have a picture for the match report, but fair to say she wins, again, for creating a new nickname for her husband, who shall henceforth be known as Nob.
• The big talking point was about rules and sportsmanship – which gifted the win to Bruce as both Nob and myself showed true stupidity. On the 15th, as I hacked up the hole to score a single point, Noz was looking to maximise, and had a 15 inch put for a par, but he was worried about it, and about standing on Millers’ line. So he marked the ball, which was then on Adam’s line. Asked to move his marker, Nob did and we all warned him not to forget to put it back. Adam and Millers holed out, and as Millers walked to the hole, he told Nob not to forget to move his marker. He promptly rolled in the putt, but from the wrong place. He claimed a 5 for 3 and then we all told him that it would be a 7 for 1, given how he didn’t move his marker. Cue an enormous amount of grumbling and near petulance, particularly as we walked from the 17th to 18th tees – he wanted to know exactly what the scores were – resulting in me Donking on course whilst Millers, who was moody after another blob, and Adam waited.
  • Completely distracted, and aware of the Big Dog being at stake, I teed up and hit a drive. And was then asked where I was teeing off from – as I’d hit from the ladies tee. Apparently this had been noted by my playing companions, but under encouragement from Nob, they decided not to point it out to me. Feeling like a proper idiot, I reloaded from the correct spot, melted a drive and then a five iron to the heart of the green, but took 3 putts from 20 feet to post a 7 for 1. At this point Nob started to challenge whether I should be disqualified from the hole, as taking 5 shots and scoring 7 wasn’t enough of a penalty in his view (take my point away and he’d be leading on countback – he may be many things, but he is not soft), insisting that I show him the rule where stroke and distance is the penalty for my error – threatening to bring Pete into the consultation
  • This is the second tournament in a row where a playing companion of mine has shown worrying ignorance of the rules of the game in a way that could swing something important in their favour on the last hole – without Pete or Ron or Rob there to speak with authority it would seem that we may need some refreshers to the proper R&A rules of golf to stop me having to try and get a signal to underline my own expertise!
  • I don’t have an issue with Nob trying to win at all costs, he has form for this kind of thing, but both Adam and Paul should really take a long look at themselves and how they’re feeling about sportsmanship, looking at their free Captain’s Kitchen Calendar whilst they’re doing it!
  • Should be noted that Dougal apart, we were all within 4 points of each other – a very tight finish that anyone could have won – but Bruce probably deserved it for as blistering a finish as we’ve ever seen
  • We ended with a good attempt at Ham Egg and Chips – the ham wasn’t really the best, but the bread and butter was a stroke of genius, with Milmore attempting to create the biggest little open sandwich seen in recent history.

All in all another great WHV event and hopefully see lots more of you at the PR Skins on the 12^th April 2014.

WHVGS’ers – Last Saturday saw the 2013 WHVGS Tour commence…. The Match report has already been submitted and given the Winner it is well worth a read – however, I can’t send it round, because it is quite lively and not “corporate firewall” safe. To read “Miller retains Spittle Shield to set up clean sweep, again”, get yourself onto the website later this week….

A few things to note from Saturday are:

– Your new Captain provided all entrants with a complementary WHVGS 2013 Calendar – Excellent work Donk

– The 1968 West Germany Munich Pottery Stein with Naff Hinged Metal Lid – Was not present

– The President’s Buckle – Was not present

– The Big Dog is either stray, in a pound or has been taken in by the travellers in Meriden

– Pal’O owes the Society £20 for his splendid new shirt

– Noz, who went through a long fallow period early last year, whilst controlling the handicaps – only to sweep the AA and CJ weekend with 3 back to back 40 pointers, to win both the OoM and the CJ. On Saturday he carded a career low point scoring 11 points, when everyone else was above 30…

Next three events:

3^rd March – Please can you inform Gregs if you are going to play the Gibbon at the Stratford Welcome in less than 2 weeks time?

20^th April – Miller over to you for the PR Skins…

18^th May 2013 – THE BRISSLE – The first Major of the year – Please tell Rob if you wish to play, although he has yet to inform us of the location or the price…

PS – The Blakemore Brothers – Welcome to the wonderful world of the WHVGS email group… Enjoy!

Dear WHVGS’ers – with the commencement of the 2012 WHVGS Tour literally only days away and with excitement levels reaching fever pitch across the country…,  here’s a summary of some well thought out tweaks / enhancements to the 2012 Tour – as considered, debated and agreed by your 2012 Board, who as you would of expected have been working tirelessly behind the scenes on your behalf during the close season…

Handicap system for 2012

The 2012 Handicap adjustment system will remain the same as the 2011 methodology, however we are re-introducing a  “1 Shot Winner’s Cut” (after the calculation of the Handicap mechanic) for all Events, (Majors and Minors) and for all categories of Golfer.

Starting Handicaps for the 2012

Everyone will start from their 2011 season closing handicap, apart from Mr M Allsopp, who will start at 18.0 – After clearing up on the 2011 Tour Bacon’s  closing handicap was 21.9 [WD- I’ll try and dig out the details for everyone before the weekend, and put them on the site]

Ranking Points

The 2012 Ranking Points system will be the same as it has been for the last few years, apart from the Claret Jug allocation, which will be reduced to a 1.5 X Major multiple from a 2 X Major multiple as for previous Tours.

2011 WHVGS Accounts and individual pots

The 2011 WHVGS Accounts are attached, showing that there is currently £1,295 of cash money in the coffers set aside for the 2013 CJ weekender.

The Accounts also include details of individual Member’s cash pots at 31 December 11, which totals a further £1,181, after the allocation of the 2011 prizes at the AGM, for those of you who (sensibly) didn’t want cash on the night.

NB: The cash pots of Messrs Butters, N Spittle and D Baxter are all currently £60 higher than shown, due to their continual standing orders to the account during Jan and Feb 2012 – How very thrifty of you….  Anyone else wishing to take up this exceptional golfing savings plan and set up a standing order for the 2012 CJ Weekender, just let me know.

Annual Subs, Competition fees and Prizes

Annual Subs will remain at £10 a man, payable at the first Tour Event attended.

Competition fees will be;  Minor : £5, Major : £10 and the Claret Jug : £20 (The TD has committed not to mess around with this during 2012…..)

The annual prize fund for the year will be broadly equal to 45% overall entry fees (as per the 2011 a/cs %age) including the overall OoM Prize fund, which has been reduced this year, to make more funds available for each Tour Event – therefore having nothing to do with austerity measures, frugal actions of your Board or underhand scrapeage of Society funds.

The 2012 OoM prizes are : £25 : Winner, £15 : Second and £10 Third (The Winner of the OoM has usually already cleaned up, will be the keeper of numerous GS Assets and will ahve won a very sought after, sparkly WHVGS Star, so there is no real need to give them any further cashola)

2012 Tour Calendar

Attached again, so no excuses – Also, this year we will be introducing a “Tour Event Satisfaction Survey”, which will be managed by the PR, based on a fixed metrics questionnaire, including; Quality of course, VFM, Quality of Nose Bag, Attendance, Special efforts by the Sponsor.  NB – The Worst Minor of the year may be dropped from the Tour schedule & replaced if a suitable alternative is proposed.

Fines

After last year’s fines debacle at the CJ EGM, this year’s approach will be refreshed… The 2012 fines system will be managed by the OoM winner and candidate for nicest chap on tour, Bacon, with a move away from purely using the Port scale. New fines will include “hilarious” forfeits, which can be reversed, coming straight back at the plaintiff if the defendant is found to be not guilty…

End of Season Social and AGM

This will incorporate a streamlined voting process and more of a prize giving, including ;

•             Player’s Player of the Year

•             Most Improved Player

•             Round of the year

•             Notable playing moment of the year

•             Best new GS Asset of the year

•             Tournament of the year

•             Most ridiculous trousers of the year

•             SPOTY

Not long til digging the bats out of the garage for the first time in c.4 months.

Not long til the wintery “Four (including mandatory putter) Club Spittle Shield” – Noz, does Bacon have to use the “WHVGS Spoon” as one of his 4 clubs….

Let battle commence

Yours

The Pres

PS – The Spittle Shield is to be held this Sunday, 26^th March [WD – obviously, the Pres is wishing his life away again – we are still in February], at the West Midlands GC – Tee off is at 10.30. Costs: £30 green fees, £5 Entrance fee and of course a tenner for your annual subs… Breakfast is not included in the price, but from memory isn’t bad too shabby.

PPS – I understand that BetRon has ceased to trade, so we are looking for a new resident bookie

PPPS – Not long til the next Board conference call….

They are both a bit disturbing. One is of our President. One is of our Tour Director.

One seemingly depicts a lunatic, the other is the epitome of a modern successful man of business.

Much as one might expect, but for the twist.

Here is the businessman

(Being a massive narcissist, this is now his seventeenth facebook profile picture since the Celtic Claret)

Here is the scary one – clicky for biggy if you dare

Here are the details for Saturday.

The President’s Classic is this Saturday – 23 July @ The Warwickshire – we have 12 for the morning and either 12 or 13 for the afternoon (TBC)

£62 (inc buggies, 36 holes, bacon baps, coffee and lunch) – plus £10 competition fee.

The Warwickshire Golf & Country Club
Leek Wootton
Warwick
Warwickshire
CV35 7QT

7.30(ish) am  – Coffee and bacon rolls on arrival and the “Ryder Cup” Team Selection Process

8.45 am – 18 holes of Championship Golf on the Kings Course : “The morning 18” – The famous “Mutliball Scramble ” (Incorporating a pairs handicap differential mechanic)

1.10pm approx – Lunch

2.12 pm – 18 holes of Championship Golf on the Earls Course : The combined individual WHVRPs Major and Singles event for the Ryder cup event (Full Stapleforth )

7.00(ish) pm – Prize giving

Later on, beers and curry

This is the latest advice and supplants this previous note:

The President’s will again take place at its spiritual home – The Warwickshire – and after lengthy negotiations I have managed to secure an excellent value for money package £62 (inc buggies, 36 holes, bacon baps, coffee and lunch) – easily the best value day out of the tour, although the bacon to bread ratio for the bacon sarnies is somewhat on the poor side. Due to careful planning perfected over the last four years and incorporating feedback from the Members it includes an overly complex concept and scoring system, (which few of you will understand, but thoroughly enjoy), it incorporates a Ryder Cup style team competition, (including an 18 hole Mutliball Scramble and an 18 hole singles competition and Stapleforth Major). The Warwickshire Golf & Country Club
Leek Wootton
Warwick
Warwickshire
CV35 7QT

7.30 am (SHARP) – Coffee and bacon rolls on arrival and the “Ryder Cup” Team Selection Process

8.45 am – 18 holes of Championship Golf on the Kings Course : “The morning 18” – The famous “Mutliball Scramble ” (Incorporating a pairs handicap differential mechanic)

1.10pm approx – Lunch

2.12 pm – 18 holes of Championship Golf on the Earls Course : The combined individual WHVRPs Major and Singles event for the Ryder cup event ( Full Stapleforth )

7.00(ish) pm – Prize giving

NB : For those of you who have been invited to Onion’s wedding celebratory Do on the evening of the 23rd, (which for some unknown reason has been planned to clash with the President’s), I am sure that you can work out suitable logistics to enable to you all to get to the Stratford venue for his bash for about 8.00(ish).

Dear WHVGSers – With the first Major of the year only being a few days away, here are some key facts, figures and general info for your delight:

The Brissle (1st Major) – The Rolls of Monmouth (http://www.therollsgolfclub.co.uk/index.html) – 27 hole green fee, breakfast and lunch is a “paltry” £56.

–       We currently have 10 confirmed entrants : Idiot, Skipper, Pres, Bruce, Adam, Bacon, Noz, Millers, Pal o’Onions and The Aust
–       Arrive for 9.30 (Bacon roll and coffee on arrival) – Tee time for the morning 9 hole shoot out 10.30
–       Lunch, followed by The Brissle Horn 2011 at 2.30
–       AUST – don’t forget the Horn

Entry is £10 a man and the WHVRPs are doubled for the Major status – Prizes will be:

–       Brissle 1st £20 + The Horn
–       Brissle 2nd £10
–       Brissle Dog £5
–       Brissle Shark £5

–       Morning 9 1 £5
–       Morning shark 1 £2.50
–       Morning shark 2 £2.50

The current Handicaps and BetRon odds will be released on Friday, when the Skipper has returned from Cyprus.

The Skins – 25th June @ Ingon manor – This is an ideal place for the PR Skins because I for one have seen 2 of the par fours driven relatively easily – please confirm your attendance to Bruce.

The President’s (2nd Major) – 23rd July @ the Warwickshire – a 36 holer, including the WHVGS’ Ryder Cup format which incorporates the morning pairs Mutliball Stapleforth 18, followed by the afternoon 18 hole Major and Singles – A truly superb event. Please confirm your attendance to The President.

WHV Open @ Celtic Manor (4th Major) – 14th to 16th Oct – You all know the drill, although this time because we are playing the outstanding “2010” on Saturday and excellent “Roman Road” on the Sunday for the CJ rounds, a 2 day option is comparatively very expensive, whereas the 3 round Friday – Sunday option which includes “The Montgomerie” for the Amy Austin, with an extra night and breakfast, is much more reasonable. For those of who are not yet paying into the WHVGS a/c on a monthly or adhoc basis, I strongly recommend that you start ASAP – A number of the more sensible Members are well on the way to being fully paid up already, so don’t come running to me moaning about cost nearer the time when you have failed to take up the monthly payment plan option – although £60 a month from 1 June to 1 Oct would work… Details available from The Pres.

Yours

The Pres

Our glorious leader was obviously having a busy day

Dear Members – The 2011 WHVGS Tour is now literally in full swing and we have started the new season the way we ended the last, with Bacon in Yellow having obliterated the field. However, the new handicap system has kicked in and the CSS has resulted in Bacon dropping 1.2 and everyone increasing by between +0.3 to +0.5, so it will be interesting to see how this pans out over the season. Bacon’s Match Report and the revised handicaps are on the Website for those of you who have not been onto WHVGOLF.COM recently.

The Spittle Shield Saturday 9th April : The West Midlands GC – 18 holes of full WHVGS Stapleforth golf, incorporating the 4 Club Challenge,  (the 4 clubs being any 3 clubs plus a putter which is mandatory), the winner of which will receive the coveted WHVGS 1968 West Germany Munich Pottery Stein with Naff Hinged Metal Lid and the privilege of getting it filled up repeatedly at Celtic Manor.

The green fee cost is £32 which includes a full English breakfast –  we currently have 13 for the Spittle and all have paid the £32 apart from The Aust and Campo. The competition fee is an additional 5 lads and there will be a Grand national sweep stake organised by BETRON. We already have 12 paid up 2011 Members and the following entrants expected at the Spittle are still to pay their 2011 £10 subscription fee; Noz, Miller and Curt – Pal O also owes me £20 for the shirt he bought at the Gibbon.

Arrival time 9.00, first tee time 9.54 – Full English on arrival and The Grand National will take place at 4.15.

Please note, it has been agreed with the Event Sponsor that due to the nature of the 2011 Spittle, it will be a ‘Non Qualifying Event’ for the handicap mechanic. In this Non qualifying event, handicaps may go down as a result of Member’s scoring, but will not increase as a result of a poor scoring.

2011 Tour Calendar – Please note that the Tour Calendar has been tweaked  – All the dates remain the same, but the order of the President’s, the Captain’s Match Play and the Players’ Rep Skins have been rescheduled to avoid having two Majors back to back and to avoid having two non-full Stapleforth events back to back in the middle of the season. The Tour calendar will be on the Website in due course, but for the avoidance of doubt, the next 4 events are:

14^th May – The Brizzle (The first Major of the year – Venue TBC)

25^th June – The Players’ Rep Skins (Minor – Venue TBC)

23^rd July – The President’s (The second Major of the year – a 36 holer, incorporating a Ryder Cup style event, WHVGS’s Mutliball Stapleforth morning round and an 18 hole Full Stapleforth Major in the afternoon – To be held at The Warwickshire Golf and Country Club)

6^th August – The Captain’s Matchplay (Minor – Stonebridge)

BETRON – “The Punters Favourite” – After opening his doors at the Gibbon, apparently BETRON is (in his view) offering “even more” value to punters at The Spittle Shield – early prices attached. BETRON is now accepting bets via email, but please be aware that the book prices change after every bet so you may not get the odds detailed on the attached sheet – they may go up or down, but this will be clarified and agreed via email with any punters wishing to make a wager.

WHVGOLF.COM – There are 5 remaining “WHVGolf.com ball markers” on a magnetic clip for the brim of your hat or the collar of your shirt  for the next  5 Members who hole out for a gross birdie in full WHVGS Stapleforth competition on Tour. (For full T&Cs see the website)

Not long til the Spittle, the tricky 3 club selection conundrum, the Grand National Sweep stake and remaining dotcom ball markers – Happy days!

PS – To those of you it effects please remember (and this list may or may not be inclusive…); The Green Jacket, The Orange, The Yellow, The President’s Buckle, The 1968 West Germany Munich Pottery Stein with Naff Hinged Metal Lid, the Big Dog, The Shark, the Dog Marker, the Shark Marker, The Hulk, the Donkey and any other required WHV Assets.

PPS – WHVGS Shirts will be available for sale and Pal O, you still owe me 20 quid for the one you bought at the Gibbon

PPPS – Any sign of the WHVGS Sweater , “V” and “Tank”, proposals?

PPPPS – Any news on the Brizzle?

As we enter the first month of 2011 to include a WHVGS Tour Event and the excitement levels hot up, a quick update is probably in order.

Coming events:
The Gibbon 26th March – (4 weekends time), if you have not already confirmed please let the TD know The Spittle 9th April- including a punitive number of clubs challenge [No.
of clubs to be confirmed by the Event Sponsor in due course] – (6 Weekends time), if you have not already confirmed please let Nozza know and pay your dues.

Financial Update:
The WHVGS bank a/c currently contains £1,333 – of which £518 relates to the C2010 c/fwd, £40 relates to 2011 Subscriptions already paid up (Pres, TD, Skipper and Bacon) and £775 are Member’s advance payments towards the 2011 CJ weekender at Celtic Manor (Individual statements are available on request from the relevant Member). NB: Payments into the a/c can be made by monthly standing order or lump sum deposits. If you require the bank details please let me know.

The 2011 Handicap system:
Is currently being worked and will be announced “in good time” prior to the commencement of the Gibbon.

Clothing:
Further to The Idiot Hall’s initial proposal and Noz’s seconding emails, (see below), the Board have agreed that they (namely the Idiot Hall and Noz) should commence the design and costing process for the commissioning of WHVGS sweaters and recommend that they consider V neck “long sleeve” and V neck “tank” options – We look forward to receiving their designs and quotes on a timely basis and we will look to approve the most suitable option when they have submitted their portfolio.

Unrest:
The Board has received email correspondence from a Member stating that he will “…continue to the hold the board to account for its many poor decisions…”. When the Member in question was asked to provide some examples of these “many poor decisions”, he was unable to provide any, but if any other Members are aware of these “many poor decisions” mentioned, please can you inform the Players Representative of them and they will be investigated.

Yours

The Pres

Dear Members – Just a quick pre-Christmas message to wish you all the compliments of the festive season and to provide you with a brief update following the eventful WHVGS End of Year Social and AGM:

The 2010 End of Year Social for the coveted “Red”, was the second running of the biennial WHVGS Pool competition – This year most the GS’ers who fancy themselves with a cue were in attendance, (apart from Bruce who was sunning himself in Brazil), including Campo, who had travelled up from London to compete for the Red and the Idiot from Bristol, who seems to
think that he has never been beaten in a singles match at Combe, ever…..
The early favourites were; Noz (reigning Champion from 2008), The Aust (runner up in 2008), Ronnie and Pedro (the self proclaimed GS pool sharks), Campo, Miller, Bacon and The Idiot Hall – the “remnants” were The Pres, Ads and Web Donk.

In a superbly formatted competition each player played 4 games with the top 8 going through to the knock out stage – surprisingly Pedro was knocked out at the first stage, (was this to the sign of things to come…) with one win from 4, along with The Donk and Ads. Noz went through as top seed, (the only unbeaten man), with Ron and Miller with 3 out of 4 victories.

The Idiot, Bacon, Campo and Miller exited at the quarters, leaving semis of Ron v Noz and The Aust v Pres.

Ron (who had been the first man at the Moose at 5pm) saw off Noz (who had not been the Moose) and following a match of terrible quality the Aust beat the Pres. The final was a tense affair with Ron ultimately being victorious and retaining the Red, beating Aust, the losing 2008 finalist. We then headed off for the 2010 Prize giving, the AGM and Sparkbook’s finest curry.

The AGM

The Royal Al’ Faisal did us proud, although Pedro decided against the Staff curry option – knocked out of the pool in the first round, no staff curry – what on earth was going on? It was already turning into a bad night for Pedro….

Next up was the 2010 prize giving – 15 individual envelopes totalling £724.96 had been painstakingly prepared containing each Member’s winnings for the year, to the penny, were available for the presentations. Unfortunately, for Coops (£5.62), Curt (£18.00) and The TD (£18.12), who were not in attendance – the Members voted on each case individually and
decided to retain their uncollected winnings for ongoing GS funds. However under the circumstances; the written apology, the notice period given and the fact that he had travelled from Cambridge to every other Tour event in 2010, the Members voted 6 to 5 that Bruce should be given his £46.50 prize fund at the first Tour event of the 2011 season. It was a good night for Bruce.

Not only did Butters pick up £174.12, (which he promptly put towards his 2011 AA and CJ account for the Celtic Manor weekender), for his sterling performance this year, but he also collected 2 OoM Stars for his WHVGS shirts – Well done Butters. He was not however presented with the WHV Spoon, currently held by Noz – who claimed that it was not practical for
him to have taken a golf club out onto Broad Street on a Saturday night – he was probably right.

It was decided that the proposal for a “Cheeser of the Year” award was ridiculous, because there would probably only ever be one winner and he does not require any encouragement.

The Vote for the 2010 SPOTY was a 3 way battle between the TD, Ron (who had played off a plus handicap for most of the season, reaching the heights of plus 4 before the AA and the Claret Jug) and the course steward at Dartmouth who said about the TD – “I wish my wallet was as thick as your mate”. The Steward won hands down.

Finally the vote for the 2011 Board took place:
Firstly, the vote for the 2011 WHVGS Captain – Pedro was nominated and seconded, for which would be his third stint in a row as Captain, Gregs was nominated but not seconded and then Noz unleashed his verbal “Vote Ron – Pedro out” campaign which he had eluded to previously over the email and evidently been planning for some time – His manifesto was along the lines of: “Pedro wears a star on his shirt that he is not morally entitled to, 2 years ago the Captains cup in Ilfracombe did not involve the Captain, this year he turned up to the Captains Match Play, but did not even organise it himself (perhaps this is one of the reasons why the course was the 2nd worst we played all year), after the Amy Austin he wrote an inaccurate match report and refused to change it, he made up bizarre rants about speakers because he doesn’t understand the most basic of technologies and he doesn’t even let people order his curry for him”. After Noz’s rant, Ron was duly seconded.

The vote was a very close run thing with Ronnie being voted in as Captain 6-5 : Bizarrely with Pedro voting for Ron, if he had voted for himself he would have remained as Captain….

TD – Gregs, Rob, Noz and the Web Donk were nominated, but only Gregs and Noz were seconded – Gregs winning the 9-2 and remains as TD for his third year, with Noz stating that he didn’t want the TD’s job anyway.

Finally the vote for Players Rep – With the Pres and new Captain unable to vote, Noz fired up the next stage of his master plan – “Vote Bruce – He’s not a whinger”. The nominees, who were all seconded were; Bruce, Butters and the Aust – with Bruce coming out as victor.

Ron was now the GS Pool Champion and GS Captain, Bruce had managed to retain his 2010 winnings and been voted onto the Board whilst lording it on a beach on Brazil, Noz was very very pleased with campaigning and Pedro had been knocked out in the first round of the pool competition, had lost the Captaincy and was no longer a Board member….

The curry house had effectively shut around us, the cabs arrived and the Members left to head off home – Just prior to leaving, I checked the AGM area for any key artifacts and came across an unopened envelope, entitled “Pedro – £41.86” – This was obviously unwanted so has become WHVGS funds, which due the change to the financial model and introduction of annual subscriptions in 2010 now totals in excess of £500 towards 2013…..
Having documented the above and what can only be described as a “bad day at the office” for Pedro – I do want to take this opportunity to thank him for his efforts over the last 2 years as Captain and prior to that, when he effectively drew up our Constitution which is the bedrock of WHVGS. The 2011 Board are yet to meet or discuss the issues to be addressed next
year, due to Bruce’s current absence in Brazil, but I understand that you can expect a totally revitalised handicap mechanic…..

Happy Christmas and best wishes for 2011

The President

This drew the following comments from the members:

• Rob is an Idiot
• “Best Board Ever” – from Noz
• Thanks for voting to give me my winners, much appreciated!!! – Bruce
• Rob is an Idiot
• I can confirm there will definitely be a new handicap system in place and that ALL members will be playing off a new handicap come the start of the 2011 tour