Commentary will be provided with a match report shortly.

If you like any of these pictures – prints can be provided at a very reasonable price – i.e. about £0.30 each from some online print firm – pop a comment on the page, or drop me an email.

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The newly named 2010 Brizzle Horn started bright and early with Mr Hall leaving nothing to chance by getting all players to turn up 3 hours before our tee times.  Those of us trying to while away some of the time by eating in the clubhouse were made aware of the arrival of the TD by the sounding of a horn.  Seconds later the TD came bounding round the corner carrying a 4 foot brass horn.  This turned out to be the new trophy for the Brizzle donated by its sponsor Mr Hall – a fine addition to the growing trophy cabinet of the tour.

The additional time enabled us to take in an extended master class from the Professor which I’m sure everyone found invaluable.  A range of some of the toughest shots in golf were demonstrated – all executed with perfection as always.

At 2pm the golf finally began – Noz, Aust and TD were off first in their buggy – after all 3 managed to avoid the bunker in the middle of the fairway they took off with TD’s golf bag nicely placed on the roof of the buggy.

After a relatively simple opening hole the course followed up with some tough holes – despite this both Bruce and Bacon made a promising start with 7 points in the first 3 holes. By the 6^th tee Noz was left wondering if there would be any ‘normal’ holes on the course having already lost the will to live following a series of blind tee shots.

Mention needs to be made of the TD’s sand iron shot of which he was exceptionally proud on the 10^th.  Announcing confidently (despite his wayward efforts on the previous 9 holes) to Aust that he was about to put it to 10 feet, he proceeded to outdo himself by sticking it to 4 foot from about 110 yards.

Standing on the daunting 13^th Tee the scores were fairly tight with Aust on 21 point, Bruce on 20 points, Web Donkey on 19 points and a couple of players on 18.  Pedro’s wager was won hands down by Web Donkey who cleverly guessed on a low hook into the cabbage.

The final holes proved somewhat more straightforward than the rest of the course and some steady play from Aust saw him home in 35 points to take the first major of the year (and a prize of £27) with Web Donkey (£18) finishing runner up on 30 points and Bacon third.  The Bigdog was won by Ron (£5) on the 15^th and the Shark by Bruce (£5) on the 4^th.   There was just time left for the Aust to be the first recipient of The Horn from Mr Hall.

On my ‘to do’ list:

• honours boards and clubroom stuff
• jersey graphic
• gross rounds
• master class and pedro wager videos
• shots of Aust with the horn (so to speak)

Finally, we might need a judge’s ruling about who’s in Yellow at the Presidents as Ron and I are both on 50 points…I haven’t run my rule over the constitution but we don’t seem to have goal difference or something similar to split people level on ranking points.

This is the Beacon Inn.

This is a pub somewhere in England. It received a visit from a member of the WHV board on Saturday evening. He came in with two empty Stella glasses, and left with two full pints of Fosters, and an empty bladder.

It is at the end of this country lane, a couple of miles off the M5 Northbound.

This is Haresfield. Approximately Two Stellas distant from the Stockwood Vale GC.

Due to paranoia from Rob, we all arrived early for a fictitious tee-off time, so accodingly, we finished a little late. Now, the WD had forewarned fellow travellers that he was getting straight off afterwards as he was likely to be in the Doghouse with the mother of his infant child for just ‘gadding about doing whatever he wants’. Before the round, the TD had asked the WD if it was going to be possible for him to join him in an early trip home as he too was in the Doghouse with the mother of his infant child, this time for doubling up on curry house visits the night before (or something, it has to do with a mixed grill ordered but not consumed and more libations with WHV members whilst guests were at the house).

At the point of departure, the TD popped into the clubhouse to pick up the token for the barrier and came back with a couple of pints. He seemed to be in  relatively good spirits, insisting on playing his Longpigs CD whilst we drove round the Bristol ring road on a Saturday evening with him showing off to parallel cars at roundabouts. “Boy” and “Helluva Boy” (with hand gesture) were seen a couple of times. Apparently Ron had banned the TD’s tunes from his motor on the way down, and they all had a lot of fun playing a game with Ron’s ipod until Bacon ruined it by going for Johnny Cash or something. Anyway, 4 songs (all of them ‘brilliant’) into the CD and the TD was bored and demanded that the WD hook up his ipod so that the TD could compose a DJ set on the fly.

We were now on the M5 and making reasonably good time – should have had him back in Knowle for quarter to nine, not too bad. He was disappointed that I did not have all of the Sis and Roses tunes for him to accurately replay his ‘set’ from Spike’s wedding (thank Christ), but he did then proceed to flick through the thousands of songs on my ipod muttering “I can’t believe you don’t have [rubbish song, mostly by Oasis], you’re killing me here kid”, or “this is the best song they ever did!” – quite forcefully.

He doesn’t like the fact that the ipod automatically plays the next song once the one he’s selected has finished, it annoys him, he’s much happier picking one at a time, apparently. Come on Apple, pull your finger out – portable music should be just like when you lined up a load of 7″ singles on your mum’s music centre. Apparently, his own ‘Best of the Roses’ CD annoys him for chopping Resurrection short – ruining one of the top five tracks ‘EVER’ – luckily I did have the full version and I got 6 or 7 minutes of dancing rather than singing.

Anyway, halfway up the M5 he started gesturing towards exits. Conscious of our Doghouse status and the need to get home ASAP, I ignored this for the Gloucester junction – “you’re killing me here kid, just 5 minutes to a boozer, I need more beer”. So I acquiesced and that’s how we ended up at the Beacon Inn in Haresfield. Looked quite nice. Expensive houses. 10 minutes whilst the slowest service in the world poured him more refreshment and we were heading back to the motorway.

Several rounds of Mondays, Smiths and Supergrass tunes later, and with a full volume rendition of ‘Lucky Man’ by the Verve being bellowed out I was being directed off the M42 into Knowle. The WD has never been to the TD’s house, so my only option was to follow directions, which took me to a car park in the centre of the town – at 9 o’clock, just a single hour later than he’d promised – to deposit the young man, and his clubs, trousers, empties and Longpig CD to whatever laid ahead of him.

I do not know what happened next, but I do know that my ‘Tales of Greggers’ certainly got me right out of trouble when I got home.

At least he kept his clothes on for the whole of the journey.

But WAIT, what’s that? The Idiot came through in reasonably good time, although not enough time for Noz to force Bomber to become a minibus driver for the day.

From Rob

We have lift off:

Saturday @ 1.30pm we have 3 tee times booked for The Brissle Open.

Our host venue is Stockwood Vale GC



http://www.stockwoodvale.com/pages.php/index.html

‘Bristol’s Most Unique Course’ is thoroughly looking forward to us hacking and chopping our way across their hallowed turf.  It’s a fun course (I’ve played it twice) with some easy, some difficult, and some ‘interesting’ holes.

The green fee is a handsome £17

As it is an afternoon start food can be purchased from the bar, either before or after we make use of the excellent practice facilities on offer.

We currently have  10 entries – which is great (thankyou) – Idiot, Adam, WD, (vote) Ron, Noz (out), Bacon, Bonus, TD, Prof, Aust