He has such a lovely way with words, and the ladies.

From the desk of the President: General thoughts please – It has come the attention of the Board, that certain Member(s), took part in a “practice round” yesterday – Playing the actual course selected for Saturday’s afternoon Major, 4 days before the competition proper. As a Member, do you:

(A) Not care,

(B) Think that this is perfectly acceptable and shows real commitment to the GS, recognising how important a WHVGS Major is in the sporting calendar, or

(C) Think that the perpetrator(s) are underhand scheming shark(s), who need to be punished for trying to again an unfair advantage over other GS Members for the competition proper….

Please can you inform the Captain and Players Representative of your thoughts…

Results of the voting

See the Disciplinary Record for details of the punishment.

Oh, and Coops nearly won it – Sharks can prosper.

Match report from the Winner – Cooperman

It was a great pleasure to take part in the Amy Austin at Hill Valley. After a quick dash up the M6 toll and getting lost several times thanks to the theaa.com, I found myself on the car park a couple of minutes before tee off and dying for a p**s. Not the best start but, a solid drive off the first settled the nerves.

The course was, unfortunately, short (7 par 3’s in total) and soggy but still the weather was superb and made up for the lack of interesting holes. A steady start was had by most, even though there was no indication we were playing a temporary green on the second. Both Greggor’s and I had steady starts and began to set the early pace, although I must admit I had plenty of good bad un’s that kept me in the race. A struggling Baxter managed to hit a decent drive straight, after topping a few of his previous tee shots, into a towering oak in the middle of the fairway and dislodged what will be forever remembered as ‘Baxter’s Bow’.

News of another of Pedro’s massive power draws reached us on the 11th and we watched in amazement as he launched himself, literally, off the 13th tee for the longest drive hole. No guesses for who won that prize. The nearest pin prize was won by the narrowest of margins, as Greggor’s deftly chipped just inside Ron’s earlier attempt.

A tight game continued until we reached the 16th tee. A dog leg right short par 4 that Greggor’s decided to try and draw his tee shot over the tree lined right hand side of the fairway. A brave but but ultimately foolish attempt. Baxter finally showed his form with a Birdie that gave us an indication of what would unfold over the coming weekend (25 my arse!).

And to the final holes where a steady finish was enough to see off the chasing pack and my first WHV victory complete.

The evenings celebrations began with a trip into the nightlife capital of Shropshire. We were met by a strong smell of dog s**t at the first establishment we visited, and after a quick shot of banana sambouka decided to depart into a slightly fresher smelling bar. A few more and the pool table beckoned where I was to lose £40 to Pedro and Bruce, cheers Ron! The evening’s drinking continued with pace and after bartering heavily with the Doormanwoman Ron paid us into the highlight of the evening, the little Chav Palace. Much to our amusement, It appeared that the door staff had developed a new sport, chav hurling. A couple more beers and back to a rowdy hotel bar where the evening continued into the early hours in preparation for the weekends main event.

Top draw lads, I look forward to defending next year.