The President’s : 28th July 2018

The President’s is the 2nd most important event on the Tour Calendar, it’s the 2nd Major of the year and it’s always a monster of a day and this year is no exception – although for the first time ever, in 2018 there was a significant change… The Venue.

The spiritual home of The Warwickshire, have changed their Saturday
morning booking criteria for non-members. So it was moved to The Stratford Park Hotel & Golf Club, (formerly Ingon Manor – a venue where I have had some success before, including being 4 down to Miller over a nine hole Matchplay event – oh, how we laughed when I won the following 5 holes….).

Anyway, back to matter in hand.

We had a small but perfectly formed 8 for the day, the weather for the
previous 3 months had been scorchio, with zero rain. The Stratford Park Hotel & Golf Club breakfast buffet was excellent – although apparently the toaster was too slow(?)!

Teams were drawn:

President’s Team (Reigning Champions) – Pres, Noz, Mart the Cat and JP
Captain’s Team (Previous years losers) – Donk, Boycie, Bruce and PK

Donk and team were looking smug….

Under the revised format for the day – the singles and “Major” take place in the morning, with 1 Ryder Cup style point available for each match.

1: JP   v  Boycie
2: Pres v  Bruce
3: Noz  v  Donk
4: Mart v  PK

We headed out and the immediately the heavens opened… 3 months of zero rain, none and it now decided to slash down, with accompanying wind/gales blowing – we all ran for cover…. Donk, ran to the Pro shop and bought a waterproof!

It’s fair to say that the weather was changeable; sunny, rainy, thundery,
lightning and bloody windy at times, the course is hilly, the fairways were brown and rock solid. It was a real test and scoring was going to be tough – in such tricky conditions.

On the 2nd JP hit a monster drive – dead centre of the concrete fairway, downhill, 350 yards it was a peach, he hit his 2nd into the shite, but the drive was a pearler. (** Note JPs driving for later…)

I drove pretty badly all round, but most of the bad ones rolled… and
rolled and rolled – everything else was in good shape and for the first
time ever? No blobs. 41 points off 26, which is probably in my best 3
rounds scoring rounds of all time.

Winner, winner – Gammon, Egg and Chips for lunch. PK was a distant second, Bruce won the Dog and Donk the Shark…

Ryder Cup standings all square after the morning session 2 v 2

1: JP lost to Boycie
2. Pres beat Bruce
3. Noz beat Donk
4. Mart lost to PK

The main event was the afternoon Mutliball – 3 points per match (Front 9, Back 9 and Over 18) x 2 matchs, all to play for. The draw came out as:

Morning’s winners v Morning’s Winners : Pres & Noz   v   Boyice & PK

Morning’s Losers v Morning’s Losers : JP & The Cat   v   Bruce and Donk

The Captain’s team continued to be smug after the draw was made, (until they worked the shots out)….

Once again the weather was average, in fact a thunder storm hit on the 5th/6th , water-logging the greens – but despite the lightening and after cowering under a tree, at the top of a hill, we were simply having too much fun to quit… By the 7th the sun was out again and balmy English summer continued, (potentially until the MindTwist and Download – TBC)….

As always the format was excellent – both games being close and mainly requiring net birdies to win the holes.

In Match 1, The Pres and Noz won the front by 1 and had the sewn the back 9 and overall up (with a shot) on the par 3 17th.  Match 2 was all square after 9, with JP and The Cat deciding to burn through the Cat’s drives and to rely on JP’s the down the 17th and 18th…. Never in doubt, this strategy worked like a dream – with Donk going into the drink on the 18th and Bruce going OB into the range. JP and Cat winning 2.5 – 0.5.

Overall Score: President’s Team (Pres, Noz, Mart the Cat and JP) 7.5 v
Captain’s Team (Donk, Boycie, Bruce and PK) 2.5

It was a great day…. Resulting in the Pres winning the President’s buckle of the first time and a famous team victory, to retain the team crown.

Thank you to everyone who came.

Yours, The Pres.

Again, the match report was provided by the victor in his own particular style – a photograph of some gibberish typed on branded stationery, distributed on WhatsApp. All the flair comes from the Donk and his camera.

25 July 2020 – Stratford Park Hotel & Golf Club

It is often said that the sun shines on the righteous…and there clearly wasn’t a significant degree of righteousness in the Stratford-upon-Avon area on the afternoon of the 2020 President’s Classic.

Despite the weather, the WHVGS Tour, having recently been decimated by the effects of the Coronavirus pandemic, was back in full swing on what should by rights have been a splendid English summers day.

Participants had been advised by the erstwhile President to assemble at the course well in advance of the 1.04pm starting tee-time, although only Finchy and the Players’ Representative were present at 12.50…forcing them to question whether they had actually both managed to end up at the incorrect venue.

Mercifully, a few more although notably not all, of the cohort appeared before the first tee time and, presumably as a penance for trying to order himself a cheeky blackcurrant J20, Ronno fired in a round of strong lagers for those present, taking the ante-tee San Miguel tally of the PR to two.

Unable to fill the Suisse Stein due to PK adding insult to previous injury, the PR was forced to saunter up the first fairway carrying a plastic pint pot whilst being joined by Hole-in-One Jon, Donko and Finchy.

During the ensuring 4 to 5 hours, several things either did or didn’t happen. Notably…:

• Donko continued to struggle with the combined effects of invasive shoulder surgery and excessive marijuana-fuelled sex
• Finchy hit the ball straight and not very far…or miles and right
• Hole-in-one Jon failed to have a hole in one
• It rained…quite a lot…and quite persistently
• Tom turned up looking worse than Robinson Crusoe and wearing an ill fitting pair of long trousers which looked like they had been fashioned from one of the sails of the shipwreck
• The longest drive was marked by one of the most impressive stones ever found on a golf course…ever…
• The PR and Captain carried a Board decision that said stone should immediately be adopted as a society asset and a message was passed to the final group that PK should pop this in his bag as a penalty for again denying the PR the use of the Suisse Stein
• [The Captain has a different recollection of this incident]
• PK didn’t pick up the WHVGS stone
• The PR won the Dog
• Catto won the Shark
• Due to the slow pace of play, the PR was forced to leave immediately after the round and before the results were announced
• The PR vowed to submit a fine nomination against PK
• Boycie apparently bought a round

Match Report Flair from the Captain…

And some videos…

The Presidents Classic is a different days golf, but by reviewing the numbers below (clicky for biggy) it looks like you wouldn’t go far wrong backing Millers to score points, but the mighty Baxter has yet to win a single point in the afternoon in the 4 events I have the details of

As usual on the eve of a WHV event, the donk was up late, this time updating his new DonkaMetrics for career stats. Still, I didn’t have to get up till half six, which is an hour after a certain Mrs Brown posted a comment on the new stats. Ron’s Mrs had been using his laptop for Facebook again, but he was still online at half five in the morning – he was obviously pumped for one of the majors missing from his collection.

Also as usual on presidents day, the members arrived in dribs and drabs, looking bleary eyed, and looking for their coffee and bacon butty. Rob is looking thinner and thinner.

There were some strange rules in place for the singles, due to having 13 men in the afternoon, 4 of whom were needed at onions wedding in the evening, but the usual draw and pairings were made. It sounded like the other teams enjoyed the kind of tight fights I was used to in previous events, but Noz and I had drawn the unstoppable force of Adam and Ron. Giving a scratch golfer a stroke a hole is tough, and he was genuinely annoyed when we halved the second – he wanted to record a 10&8 victory. He holed his pitch from the middle of the first fairway and then proceeded to take the short, but on the fairway drives from mr Hogarth, blasting in long irons and rescues to match or better the best efforts on our side. Ron has a new toy, not for him the iPhone app that has done nothing but distract Bruce for two events now. No, Ron needs to “paint his target” with his laser rangefinder so he knows where to drop his 3 iron. And indeed he did, all morning. Noz and I only screwed up on the tenth, three putting when they were bunkered. On the 15th, we played a perfect hole, not needing to hole out the gimme from the pitch. Ron missed their twenty footer, but ads tramlined it to halve the hole in gross birdie. We’d lost 6&4 by then, we also lost the front and back nines comprehensively without playing poor golf.

It was amusing to see Ron and Ads manage to drive their buggy into a gps protected area at lunchtime and get stranded. The starter also told us about the ongoing scourge of buggy theft and pranking they’re suffering, which is why some members had to walk the afternoon round. Pedro was oblivious to all this, as he appeared to spend the whole of the lunch break on the phone, and we dont think it was a work related call.

After our standard lunch, the afternoon matches eventually got underway as other groups were sent out ahead of us, much to the chagrin of the captain. 5 hours in the morning, 5 and a half in the afternoon. No comment from me as I quite like the course, but at my age and standard of fitness, you do get tired, even in a buggy, after 4 o’clock.

Playing with Rob and Bruce, we quickly collectively had too many blobs to think we were in with a sniff. I managed to put at least one ball in each water hazard on the first five holes. But then I retained the shark by hitting the pin at the fourth. Missed the birdie putt though. This was also just three holes after the Idiot placed a long odds wager with Betron on an ace.

We were close enough on some tees and holes to keep up with the groups behind and ahead of us, and turning with 15 suggested that Bruce was doing OK, as were Ron and Noz and Millers and Ads. Sat waiting in the buggy on the tenth (happily the skipper had told the club not to send off another three sets of duffers in front of us), Bruce and I discussed how the new handicapping system was helping us have competitive golf again. We also considered that, but for the old three stab and duffer chip, we were both there or thereabouts and with some decent course management and concentration we could do a Bacon and clean up.

For once, even though Rob convinced us to start gambling 50p each on holes and shots, I did my best to concentrate, and by the time we got to the top of the hill at the 16th we knew that at least five of us were in with a sniff. I parted my way in, 2 points a hole, perhaps a bit lucky to find my ball in the blinding sunshine down the 16th, but thought I’d crucially missed my par putt on the 18th. Or not, as racking up 19 points coming home saw me see off the Skipper on count back and take the spoils. I’d driven well all day, and actually dropped some putts in, and it felt good to win after trying to win.

So, in a quiet presentation ceremony of four sunburnt men all running a bit late for their evenings (millers in particular appeared to be headed for the worst doghouse in history), the Web Donk won his second major and took over the belt for 12 months. I also won the shark, Ron took 2nd and the Big Dog. The skippers team took the team event and £5 each.

An unusually short break will see the WHVGS back together at Astbury Hall for the Captain’s Matchplay, which will be a stroke play event, just 2 short weeks after the Classic.

Oh, and now that Adam is definitely getting married, Bruce got engaged.

Not long till the priest.

The less said about the Mike Brearly of the event, the better eh Dougal?

From the Desk of Dougal

June 12 – Inc England V USA : Just to confirm the 2010 President’s will take place on 12 June (7.45 Start – and then all day) – This date has been hand picked to coincide with England’s opening World Cup game against the USA (19.30 KO) – so will be a day full of sporting excellence, high spirits, the GS’s Ryder Cup style team competition, incorporating the annual Mutliball Scramble debacle, individual head to head golf and a Major… There will be Ranking Points galore for the day, which will include 36 different Championship golf holes, buggies all day, breakfast and lunch (probably of poor quality) for a very reasonable price and World Cup glory against the yanks.. The logistical details of where we will physically watch the England game will follow, but we will be watching it somewhere.

The 36 hole (inc Buggies) day is local, the format is second to none and due to the format we ideally need 12 or 16 Competitors…. So please put it in your diaries….

Oh and there will be a new President’s “Trophy” for the winner….

Lovely