Provided in late January by Mr Thomas Jimenez of Manchester

A merry band of seven (Pres, Noz & PK (the Presidents team) and Donk, Woolly, Aust and Tom (Donks team)) arrived early at the Warwickshire for The Presidents 2016.

A quick round of bacon butties and the starter set us off on the first tee on the Kings Course for the mornings individual Stapleforth matches.

An eventful mornings golf included Pres. striking the ball like a knife through the wind and a crow stealing a bacon buttie from the back of a buggie, serviette and all and feasted on it with its mates at a teasing, but safe distance.

In the first Stapleforth fourball, a notional Pres played, and lost to Woolly, and Noz played and beat Aust. In the second fourball, PK played and halved with Donk, and a real Pres played and lost to Tom. I hope thats clear?

Personally ive no-idea. I never quite worked it out. The shark was so fiercely contested on a two tier green by Pk and Donk that it ended in a tie. Four puts later, the first two ending up further from the hole than they started after failing to get up the slope, Pk finally holed out. He was happy about that.

Totting up the scores over a lunch of ham, egg and chips the scores were Presidents team 1 1/2, Donks team 2 1/2 and Tom bagged the Presidents with 34 stapleforth points.

Teeing off on the Earls Course for the afternoons entertainment, Team Donk were confident in their one point lead. Aust and Tom went off first, playing Noz and a real Pres, followed by Donk and Wooly playing PK and a notional Pres. Pres however shape shifted halfway around to play with PK, largely I recall due to having got irritated with Noz’s game.

The mood in Team Pres was low and Team Donk capitalised on this with a huge 3 / 3 all square draw in the afternoon game.

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