Delayed purely thru the laziness of the WD.
Inordinately chuffed with himself
The 2010 President’s Classic began early, very early, with a 0730 bacon butty and cuppah. Surprisingly, given the time, everyone was bright and bushy-tailed and ready for the off. We were after all, about to start the second most important event of the WHVGS Tour Calendar.
The competition was again taking place at its spiritual home, The Warwickshire and due to some exceptionally careful planning by the President; the day was to include an overly complex concept and scoring system. When I say “overly complex”, I basically mean that very few of us really understood it. Anyway, the day incorporated a Ryder Cup style team competition that included within it an 18 hole Mutliball Scramble in the morning, WHVGS is after all the home of the “Stapleforth Mutliball”, and an 18 hole singles competition and Stapleforth Major in the afternoon.
The first task of the day was therefore for the President and Captain to pick their teams. The immediate aftermath of which, was a large amount of cockiness and sabre rattling on the part of Messrs Aust, Noz and the rest of the President’s team. Apparently, there was “no way we can lose this” etc, etc. Would this come back to haunt them I hear you say…well read on to find out.
The morning’s 18 holes were played on the Earl’s Course and the first 4-ball seemed to back up the initial thoughts of the President’s team, as Campo and me were right royally rogered, 5 and 4 (4 up by the 18th) by an inspired “Aaron” and Ads. Not that Campo and me had played badly, in fact quite the opposite, we just weren’t given any opportunities by our inspired opponents. The second 4-ball was much more of a competition, with the President superbly chipping in on the 18th to secure a half for him and Web Donk against the Curt and Bruce. The President’s celebratory jig on the 18th was worth the entrance fee on its own. The third and final 4-ball was however a real shock as the aforementioned Aust and Noz were themselves left battered, bruised and completely demoralised by The Captain and the TD. A really great performance on the part of the Captain and the TD, which meant that the morning mutliball scramble ended all square at 4.5 points for both the Captain and the President.
The second 18 of the day (Singles Competition and Stapleforth Major) began only 45 minutes and a hastily eaten ham, egg and chips later. By this time Idiot had joined us after a drive up from Bristol and we were all once again raring to go. The TD was certainly raring, as he clambered into his buggy with 3 pints of “wife-beater” and after the President had eventually helped him to track down his buggy and clubs.
The afternoon 18 holes were played on the King’s Course and I was in the second group with Noz and Web Donk, with me and the Web Donk playing each other as part of the Ryder Cup style President V Captain Competition. While very much enjoying the companionship, chauffeuring and sage advice on yardage and club selection, I was concerned that the choice of group would eventually lead to me once again having a golfing meltdown and completely bottling it as I wilted under the mind games of Noz and Web Donk. However, by the turn we were all very close with Web Donk and myself on 14 points and Noz a point behind on 13. The highlights of the first 9 probably being me and Noz putting 2 in the drink on the 7th and all three of us putting our tee shots again in the drink on the 8th. We also had the pleasure of having the TD rushing over to Noz to “borrow” bog roll in order to deal with his puppy dog’s nose. We may still not know the answer to the eternal question of whether bears shit in the woods, but we know that the TD does…and he’s willing to do so, with only a couple of squares of bog roll at his disposal. Lets hope it was a solid affair. At the halfway stage of the afternoon round, Idiot was someway in the lead on 20 points.
The back 9 was far more exciting for myself and ended with a run of 3 pars that admittedly included a spawny tee shot on the 17th but also a great tee shot and lovely wedge into the 16th, a fabulous bunker shot that just lipped out on the 18th and some quite brave putting, even if I do say so myself. Overall, I scored 22 points on the back 9, which gave me a total of 36 and the clubhouse lead. There was then a long wait while the other groups got back to the clubhouse before it was confirmed that I had indeed broken my duck and won a WHVGS event. Happy days.
I was therefore the proud recipient of the newest addition to the WHVGS Trophy Cabinet, the WHV “Buckle”, which I believe I now need to wear at all WHV events until the 2011 President’s Classic. Many congratulations must also go to Curnips for coming in second with an excellent 34 points, beating Campo (34 points) on count back. Many congratulations must also go to our revered President for organising such a great day.
Before I go however, let’s return to the question of whether the President’s teams pre-match cockiness would come back to haunt them. If you remember at the half way stage we were tied at 4.5 points each. By the end of the afternoon singles the final scores were 9.5 to the President’s team and a massive 20.5 points to the Captain’s team. I don’t think I need to say anymore.
Finally, the official payouts of the event were as follows: 1st & £26 to Bacon, 2nd & £13 to Curnips, WHV Big Dog & £5 to Aaron, WHV Shark & £5 to Aust and the Team Prize went to the Captain’s Team of The Captain, the TD, Bacon, Juice, Curnips, Campo and Idiot, who all receive £5 each.
