The Brissle – sponsored by #HelpingRob
We all know that Rob is an idiot, not just the village kind, probably not even a town kind, he’s at the least competing at county level. It’s therefore surprising that he was able to get everyone in the same place at the correct time for the Brissle. A vast improvement on the previous efforts of the “Best ever TD” – who in the words of his own website “has developed and led award winning projects including events, marketing campaigns and place management plans”.
Of course, he didn’t do it alone, he doesn’t have to anymore, always there in the background is the considered input of Pedro, quietly working away to #helpRob. At the merest suggestion of the opportunity to play Burnham and Berrow from the idiot Pedro was there, cajoling, arranging and #helping to get the Brissle date moved to allow us to take advantage of the 50 quid a man offer to play the “best course in England” according to Ron.
I for one can finally see some progress thanks to the #HelpingRob campaign – the idiot is improving and after some on course coaching from one of Pedro’s assistants, was finally able to slow his swing down and hit the ball straight. He also managed to arrange an extremely successful tote based sweepstake with little assistance.
All of the talk leading upto the event was about the weather – it was due to hammer it down and it wasn’t even going to be Millers fault this time. There was a move to start blaming Pedro by the idiot – but Pedro’s too clever to be blamed for weather. As it turned out the weather was fine, a bit blowy at times but that’s to be expected, I didn’t need to get my waterproof jacket out of my bag at all.
We arrived at the venue and Boyce was full of it. Millers had millered himself again, millering Levy into Fritelli at a cost of around 100 notes. The bacon sandwich was particularly good (the burgers for tea looked even better). As is tradition for a Brissle we all arrived about 3 hours before the first tee time, giving time for some to have a warm up on the range. A quick couple of bets on the practise green were taken and paid out and we teed off.
Looking up the first tee was fairly daunting – there didn’t appear to actually be a fairway to aim at and I was worried about my ability to keep the ball straight. All but one of my group were scrabbling around in the rough around the green – I didn’t find my ball and took a Rob the Blob.
Things got better after that, the course seemed a little more open and we were all playing reasonably well in my group. My round really took off on 6,7,8 and 9 where some good fortune and some decent ball striking gave me 13 points – including a birdie on the par5 eighth. I was still berating myself for overhitting my putt from just off the green as it struck the flag and went in.
The back 9 was tougher playing into the wind and I felt a little less open from the tee. I haven’t seen the cards but I think most would find that the scoring was better on the front. Millers, who had been ticking along nicely on the first 9, only managed a measly 5 points on the way back in. Unfortunately at this point there is another low score that needs some discussion.
It was around 10 years ago that the godfather of WHV was trying his hand at golf, playing in his first Brissle. Almost everyone’s desire and physical ability to play football had gone and he had finally given up on cajoling people into 11 a side games against the total morons from “Total” Football. I played with Spike that day and its fair to say it wasn’t pretty, but he was new to the game and could be forgiven. He set a new record, WHVGSs lowest ever stapleforth score of 6, on one hole managing to lose 5 balls off the tee into the water.
It gives me no pleasure at all to have to document that this record of 6 was equalled on the 30th April 2017 by the President. I know the President well and I know he will come back from this, he has FOUR green jackets (did he mention that?), you don’t achieve that without having some sort of game. My message to the Pres is to get down the range, hit as many balls as you can, sneak a round in when you can and I’m sure you can get back into double figure scoring soon.
The shark was won by Ron (I offered to hand it to himn on our return but he refused for some unknown reason), the big dog by Coops and Bruce got second through the count back mechanism. Bruce and I have both been putting in the hard graft this season so far with regular Friday lunchtime trips to the driving range and practise rounds wherever possible without upsetting his wife (I can definitely play whenever I want, there’s no question of that), and the result appears to reflect this.
One final point to address is Woolys new handicap of 12, had he not had a last minute chop from 22 (I think) he would have deservedly won this event. Whilst we need a defined system we also need good sense to prevail so that everyone who turns up to an event believes they have a reasonable chance of winning.
Anyway – great course, and a great bit of #HelpingRob. We move on next to what is certainly not called the Pedro skins, but is a Skins event organised by Pedro on behalf of Boyce at Rye Hill (with an £8.50 dinner option). There are definite similarities in this, certainly not called the Pedro Skins, skins event to the old Pedro format which was always hugely enjoyed by everyone and I for one can’t wait.
