Here is the match report for our three time CJ victor. Bruce has done a fair job, but nothing ever approaches the level of loving detail that Dougal likes to include when reliving his triumphs in the Big One.

WHV Golf Society 2011 Claret Jug Entrants

To supplement the words, I’ve included some pictures of the weekend (still considering if YouTube will host raunchy videos), and some of the performance tables. A number of members might need to consider where they dropped points over the weekend – strangely low point accumulation on the par 5s from some of the society “Big Boys” and the gang of “2 Point Pirates” on the Par Fives.

Bruce’s Report – all Spelling is the author’s own

15th – 16th October 2011 WHV Claret Jug at Celtic Manor

Attendances:-  Pres, TD, Ron, Juice, Campo, Aust, Bacon, Donk, Noz, Millers, Idiot, Prof & Hugh

Firstly I would like to thank last year’s winner and President, Dougal Baxter for an amazing choice of venue and excellent organisation of this event.  I think I can speak for all 13 members who attended that it was a very successful weekend and that we were privileged to play 3 great courses (1 for the Amy Austin).

1st round – Twenty Ten course

Chilling whilst Wales Failed

The 1st round of the CJ  kicked off in style with Wales getting a man sent off in the Rugby World cup semi final for a blatant spear tackle (although our Welsh hosts and Members did not see it quite like that…) a tour of the 2010 club house and the use of the locker room which the European Ryder cup team had used. Our President had organised for all members to have a personalised locker next to one of the Ryder cup players. I was lucky enough to be put next to Rory McIlroy’s locker, which must have been an omen. We were then taken by bus to the 1st tee and practice area. This might be the first time in the history of the CJ that we have ever warmed up before trying to hit a pearl of a drive down the middle of the fairway.

Personal lockers were a classy touch

Grandfather of Ibiza in Grandad Jumper

New Dad, New Job Title, But Only 15 points on Day One


Casually waiting for the group shot

Having a proper warm up

All to play for on Saturday Morning

I was going to add a superb picture here of all the members standing on the 1st tee with the original Ryder Cup signage  in the back ground but some joker ruined the photo!!

The balls were thrown up, the groups decided with a random American joining the last group and at last the 2011 CJ started. (The week before the random American had been round Wentworth with Ernie Els, so god knows of what he thought of his round with the TD….)

Overall I know everyone really enjoyed playing the 2010 course, it certainly was very challenging as there seemed to be bunkers or water anywhere you hit the ball. Which meant scoring was going to be hard, but not impossible. Campo hit 22 on the front 9 and if it wasn’t for him exploding on the last 4 holes he would have been the club house leader, that honour went to me with 38 points. I was lucky enough to have found some form at last or it was leaving the pub early on the Friday whilst everyone else got hammered, I’m not sure?

Not a bad looking track, the 2010. Quiet too.

I can’t talk about everyone’s round but my shot of the Day was from the Prof hitting a 3 wood 220 yards out of a bunker, and he called it. That was closely forward by his 3rd short at the 18th, he was in the rough with a bad lie and managed to hit it 180 yards over water and land it 2 foot from the pin. Brilliant shot even if he didn’t know he had done it until he got on the green.

Watching the boys come home

Unnecessary stressing about the tee times for Sunday

So after the first round the prizes went to:-

Juice                            Club House Leader                 38 points

Web Donk                   Big Dog – longest drive

President                     Shark – nearest the pin

After a memorable round it was back to the club house, were we where each presented with a marvellous named metal bag tag / medal to help us remember our 2010 experience and then back to the hotel  to change for our evening at the local pub and curry house. The highlights have the bloke crying out side the bogs because his mates had got him a stripper and Noz being the gentleman that he is and taking his seat, our President not drinking (although it didn’t help his form much), the club house leader having the extendable fork “stolen”, Aust shouting at the TD, Noz and Butters having a row about bullying and most of the members ordering tea and coffee at midnight. Who said we are getting old?

Evening Photos

Organised as ever

On the way for the Saturday Evening festivities

Millers Footwear Again

Members looking non-plussed at pool action on 2 nights running

Somehow Rob and Ron end up in prime stripper watching position

But not as prime as Noz, who did the decent thing and rescued the naked lady from having no-one to peform for

Waiting outside our curry venue, and boy, did we have to wait

Eating late, and then Bruce has to use the Extend-a-Fork (RIP)

Sharing Forkage with the Captain

For some reason, Rob had found a porcelain phallus, and brought it with him

Port Cock is Born

TD looking particularly demonic as he accepts the gimp trophy

And so begins the reading of the indictment sheet. It went on a bit.

Look how much Campo loves the TD

Presenting the Nicklaus Fiver to the Society

A new artefact for our treasure trove

Bruce ordered some form of kebab that was 90% grilled onion

Pete knows to bring a mopping rag with him when handling a wang

Mike gets the helmet in

Aust is more circumspect

Noz lovingly cups the Japs Eye

Back to Bruce’s Match Report…

2nd round – Roman Road Course

Every Inch the Golfer at Leisure

So Close to the Fabled 'Full House'

Warming Up in the Sunshine

First Ever Shark and Third Six Pound Argyll of the Weekend

So to the final round, this was going to be an interesting day with at least 7 members in with a chance of winning. We all set off with clean clubs and the chance of becoming the 2011 CJ winner. The final group was Me, Campo, Donk & TD with me having a 3 point lead over Campo.

Pres sprays another drive off the first - just on the edge of the frame

Millers gets going

Huge seemed to have a better round on Sunday

Aust starts a charge

Ron places at the Jug again

The wheels came off for the TD on Sunday

On the way to keep the lead for most of the day

It was always going to be decided by whoever could hold their nerve and both myself and Campo found the first few holes a struggle, especially as we heard that Aust was on a charge. Luckily for us it didn’t last long and by the 9th it was clear that it was between myself and Campo. By this stage he had got to within 1 point, it was going to be a very tight finish.

After the 13th Campo had taken a 1 point lead and I was thinking 2nd wasn’t a bad result, especially as my drive on the 14th followed Campo’s drive into the water!! He then knocked his drop onto the green and mine ended up in the water again and I ended up 2 points down. Surely it was all over?

But on the very next hole the pressure of leading the CJ can get to anyone and Campo’s next tee shot found the stream and I was able to snatch a point back and by the 16th I had edged back into the lead. An out of bounds drive on the 17th by Campo meant he had to score four points on the 18th to win. I managed to keep my nerve and won my 3rd CJ and the honour of wearing the Green Jacket for the 2nd time and organising next year’s CJ

A special note should go to those Members backed themselves on the Celtic Manor Par 3 Challenge holes and particularly those who won free rounds – Ron (on both Saturday and Sunday), the Idiot and Baxter (Sunday).

The final scores where:-

Juice                2011 Claret Jug Winner          71 points

Campo             Runner up                               67 points

Ron                 3rd Place                                   61 points

Noz                 Sunday Best                            35 points

Aust                King of the par 3s

Juice                King of the par 3s

Idiot                Sunday Shark – nearest the pin

Ron                 Sunday Hulk and Big Dog – (easily) the longest drive

Waiting for the prizes

Rob Sharks

Happy winner and Happy Pres

Impromptu Car Park Cheese Board

There was some cracking cheese available for the late departers

Not clear if the punishment has been served as only a minority of members partook of the cheese


Performance for the Weekend

2011 Claret Jug

Player2010Roman RoadTotal

2011 Prizes

WhatWhoHow Many?
Green JacketJuice71 Points
Overnight LeaderJuice38 Points
Overnight Hulk & Big DogDonk
Overnight SharkPres
Sunday BestNoz35 Points
Hulk & Big DogRon
King of FivesBruce16 Points
King of ThreesAust20 Points

2011 CJ King of Threes

Player2010Roman RoadTotal

2011 CJ King of Fives

Player2010 CourseRoman RoadTotal

The Chase for the 2011 Claret Jug

Aust and Ron got close early doors, but it really was mano-a-mano on the Roman Road, and the TD and I were privileged to witness some good stuff when we weren't looking for each other's wild drives.
HoleBruce ScoresCampo ScoresPosition
Start3835Bruce by 3
111Bruce by 3 (39 v 36)
213Bruce by 1 (40 v 39)
313Campo by 1 (42 v 41)
420Bruce by 1 (43 v 42)
522Bruce by 1 (45 v 44)
631Bruce by 3 (48 v 45)
712Bruce by 2 (49 v 47)
834Bruce by 1 (52 v 51)
922Bruce by 1 (54 v 53)
1022Bruce by 1 (56 v 55)
1121Bruce by 2 (58 v 56)
1233Bruce by 2 (61 v 59)
1303Campo by 1 (62 v 61)
1401Campo by 2 (63 v 61)
1531All Square (64 each)
1631Bruce by 2 (67 v 64)
1720Bruce by 4 (69 v 64)
1822Bruce by 4 (71 v 66)
End3332Bruce's choke out choked by Campo!

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