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It would appear that I have found a winning formula except that the set of circumstances that led to victory; are about as likely as Sol Campbell playing football again. From the very first organisational stages of the Captains cup it was clear it wasn’t to be the biggest field. the 250+ emails received in the preceding weeks detailed disgruntlement in the ranks especially with the captain and president at odds over timings, transport, location well pretty much everything. Noz did try to act as mediator between these bickering board members tho.

So the morning of the tee off each of the 6 competitors had been through their own prematch preparations; Aust and Gregs had left at the wonderfully early time of 6am from Solihull to get to Illfracoombe before 11am. The others having arrived at ‘coombe at various times the nite before. Noz and myself had started the evening with 2 lagers and 2 sambucas setting the tone for the evening. In summary 6 players, one with a very dodgy back, 2 exhausted and the remainder with massive hangovers hanging out beyond belief. The odds were in my favour obviously.

At the end of the round after the scores were checked and prizes awarded the realisation of writing a match report dawned on me. The problem was that I barely remembered anything of the first 9 or 10 holes. I looked at the website¬† and that didn’t help much. What I do know is that Aust, Gregs and Noz set off in the first group and on the first hole there were clubs flying and numerous shots being taken it looked as if it was to be a long day for all concerned. I took an 8 on the first and thought I should have stayed in bed. But the weather was glorious and I had plenty of water and nurofen. The second three of Spike Bruce and myself were all struggling with hangovers and spikes back was not good the last thing he should have been doing was playing golf. The fourth hole was only 70 yards but did prove to be a git for most. Spike had scored 2 points by the 8th hole and called it quits and went back to the clubhouse.

The group behind Bruce and I was 2 old ladies who being members knew the course and played very quickly and always seemed to be waiting for us to play. They did ask if the group in front of us were golfers and why were they so slow with a buggy and 1 walker. Why haven’t they let you through we were asked a few times? The back 9 hold more memories for me due to the boozy haze lifting. Holes 16 and 17 required you to play both tee shots before moving on. V bizarre! There was controversy on the 17th¬† as Bruce / Aust played the wrong balls and were docked 2 points. Along with this controversy this groups board members discussed recent disciplinary matters and their findings are at the bottom of the report.

It did come to light that mind games had played apart in a certain players performance. He said that a certain individual whose game had gone to pieces decided that the only way to deal with this was to talk incessantly and wouldn’t shut the #### up! This greatly affected one of his playing partners. Food for thought for the claret jug!

Juice took the money as the WHVGS big dog, easily beating the TD, but the TD did fluke a 7 iron to 10 feet at the 165 yard par 3 16th to take the nearest the pin spoils.

So all in all a very strange mix of circumstances leading to an unexpected result – Happy Days.

A Hogarth

Important note

The following Board decisions took place following the Captain’s Cup:
1. A charge was made against the President of not attending the Captain’s Cup despite being within reasonable distance of the tournament and a further charge was made against the President of influencing the starting time of the Captain’s Cup and so adversely affecting the Captain’s ability to attend the Tournament. The majority Board decision was that the President be found guilty of both a cheeky and out of order offence and that he therefore be required to present the Society with a bottle of at least 20 year old Tawny Port at the Claret Jug weekend.
2. A charge was made against the Captain of not attending the inaugural Captain’s Cup and of not expending sufficient effort in organising the tournament. The majority Board decision, mitigated by the influence of The President on the Captain’s ability to attend, was that the Captain be found guilty of a cheeky offence and that he therefore be required to present himself with a Motown St. Mellion at the Claret Jug weekend and swiftly consume this in view of the members present at the tournament.

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