2020 Amy Austin Match Report

Text provided by the winner in the form of a photo on Whatsapp, so I’ve had to transpose it...especially because the original claimed to be sponsored by some shambles outfit called “Heartflood”

The Amy Ozzle – Friday 9th October 2020 – Royal North Devon Golf Club

The beautifully manicured links of Royal North Devon comprise one of the most magnificently presented tracks ever graced by our erstwhile society. Such a strong and stunning course can obviously only be appreciated by true champions and the ante-tee banter had consisted mostly of pointed criticism from one of the less gifted WHVGS golfers and the amassed field was, again, notable for the absence of an idiotic local, who we can only presume was busy tending to a nearby swede patch.

With most of the field seemingly having stopped at some point at Sedgemoor services on the southern journey, the King of the Majors imbibed in a cup of McDonalds coffee from the mighty Suisse Stein and, combined with the bright sunshine, all seemed very well in the world.

Despite a series of recent and not inexpensive lessons with the famed Fred Leadbetter, the Millers golf game seemed to have only developed in terms of the additional time taken to play the game, his face seemingly contorted by the additional machinations imparted by Whispering Fred.

With the flair men having consumed a pint of strong lager apiece, the field congregated on the first tee and, following a few months of marvelling at the course ahead, a deep inhalation of Atlantic air and a contemplative nod at the legendary History Boy, play was underway.

With the semi-holographic crystal trophy at the forefront of everybody’s mind, the society noted the physical and mental strength of the WHVGS King of the Gym, who chose to face the bracing October sea breeze in shorts and distinctive green shirt of a major champion. Play was seemingly mixed, with a few questionable early shots from the field and Paul continuing to gurn as though he were on one of his increasingly age appropriate visits to the white isle.

Whilst the ocean air became increasingly bracing, Society play began to hot up, with Nozzy recording a birdie at the 4th and the even more hirsute Jimenez taking the Shark. The birdie fest continued, with the Pres racking one down 8 and Miller, seemingly having successfully wrestled with the additional voice inside his head, doing the same. More birdies were to follow for Juice (10), Copters Johnson (12) and the King of the Boys down 18. Juico was swinging well and had taken another Dog title with a mighty tee shot.

During another notable WHVGS day there were several further issues of note which included, although were not limited to the following: